"When I was younger I didn’t have a clue what real happiness was. I thought it was all the crap they sell you: Holidays! Shoes! Mascara! Your Best Hair Ever!"
"It sounds dramatic, but I honestly don’t know if I can stomach online dating anymore."
"I wake up hotter than hell, my mouth dry and dusty as a warthog’s arsehole."
“Are you dating anyone else at the moment?”
"When you really like someone you text back, even if you’re on the fucking moon."
"Instead of worrying that it would all happen too fast, I’m beginning to worry it might never happen at all."
"People still ask me how I couldn’t have known I was gay and I always struggle to find the words to explain."
"I’ve started to wonder if my karma’s gone a bit wonky, because bad things just keep happening."
"I wasn’t interested in love, marriage or happily-ever afters. I wanted happily-ever morning afters."
"When Elsa sang, 'Let it go, let it go, can’t hold it back anymore', I believe she was talking about a wildly out of control muff."