Ex Marks The Spot
Why don't lesbians cut the ties when a relationship ends?
What is it with us lesbians that means we have long-lasting and fruitful relationships with our exes? Why don't we cut ties when our relationship ends?
Firstly, we're women. Hallelujah to that. We are deep and emotional beings. If someone was special enough to be a big part of our lives then by default they must be pretty great.Why should we walk away from that bond just because we don't want to watch Netflix together anymore?
Secondly, friend-sharing and social circles. Chances are, if you've been with your other half a while, they know your mates. They've probably created their own bonds and connections with them.
Unless your ex has done something hideous which caused the break up (in which case, you'd expect your friends to go as far as deleting them off Facebook) they will probably still continue to be in your friends' lives. They will be there. At birthday dinners, drinks on New Year's Eve and hangover Sunday dominoes sessions.
Thirdly, mutual pets. Seriously, pet custody is a rough road. Do not buy pets with your bird.
Now, being best buds with your ex is all fine and dandy, until a new girl appears on the scene…
If your ex 'bae' is in a new relationship, you're probably going to smugly revel in the 'in jokes' you both share… a kind of "I know her better than you ever will, love".
You'll also take comfort knowing almost all of her Instagram posts feature you, looking decent followed by hashtags #happy #bliss #mygirl - cue evil genius laugh.
On the other hand, if a new lady comes into your life (first choice being Ruby Rose) then you being super friendly and close with your ex could cause a serious problem. By problem I mean a great big bloody pounding headache. Your new lady could suffer symptoms of jealousy, anxiety and paranoia.
A case of: Comparethemarket.com… does your new provider really offer a better deal?!
I was out for my best friend's birthday dinner the other night. My ex of six years was there… the joys. Sure, I'm comfortable with her, we never don't have things to talk about, and to all intents and purposes we get on really well.
I was talking about visiting one of my other good mates in London, to which my ex replied: "I so want to see her too, why don't we go down together?!"
Yes, I thought, that would be an excellent idea… as would doing cartwheels over a floor covered in cactuses. Seriously? She has a girlfriend, as do I. In what world would the pair of us going on a trip to London together be acceptable? Hashtag Flabbergasted.
I suppose each 'case' is different and in theory there isn't anything wrong with it. If the relationship really is over and there are no naughty feelings lingering then being mates with an ex flame is innocent…