How to avoid first date fatigue

The online dating world opens the door to hundreds or even thousands of potential partners.




While some of us do our filtering online and are selective about who we go on dates with, some of us are better at filtering dates on a personal, offline level. What this means for some women is a seemingly endless succession of first dates - some outright bad, some simply mildly disappointing. If you're the sort of person who sits at home alone wishing for a single first date, this problem can appear as "tragic" as a millionaire complaining about having a choice of too many sports cars, but it's a real problem for many women. First date fatigue can set in, causing one to not only miss out on potentially compatible partners but also to appear distracted and bored on a date that could have otherwise gone well.


So for all of you out there who seem to be having too many dates and are beginning to feel a bit fed up of it all, here are some tips to keep things interesting.


Vary your locations


If you're a serial first dater, you probably have a preferred first date location already. It may be one pub or café in particular where you feel right at home or it may be the concept of going for a drink and then some food. Choosing something radically (or subtly) different can make the thought of going on "yet another date" more interesting even before you've met your date, so you're less likely to turn up feeling like you're going to work.


Take it easy


If you've been out of the loop for a while and have recently joined a dating site, it can be really fun to line up dates one after the other. But while this will be entertaining for a while, after a week or so, you may feel the need to just not see anyone at all. If you know it takes you a while to find a partner, space out your dates to two or three a week. It may not get you the superfast results you'd envisioned, but then again, neither would hiding at home after too many dates. Also, avoid heavy boozing - you don't want your dates to become a nasty hangovers you'll need a break from.


Keep at it


The bad news is that some aspects of a first date will always be the same. You'll need to accept the fact that the human mating dance is a pretty standard thing. So yes, you'll discuss your exes (in moderation!), your coming out story, possibly some stuff about gender and politics. The thing to remember is that when you meet the right person, the similarities in topics won't be on your mind at all. Instead, you will be concentrating on how different she is from all the others in wonderful and exciting ways. Remember this as you're thinking about whether or not to go on yet another date, because more often than not, we feel the most resistance just before the most important events in our lives.


It's best to push through and give the next person in your life a chance, rather than stay home and miss out because you've been on so many dates.



Only reading DIVA online? You're missing out. For more news, reviews and commentary, check out the latest issue. It's pretty badass, if we do say so ourselves. // //


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