Is breaking up always hard to do?
In a word: yes. But you can do it with respect, says DIVA's dating expert
Dear Hot Stuff,
There's no nice way of breaking up with someone, is there?
Morgane from Hartlepool
Dear Heartbreaker from Hartlepool,
Well, no, to put it bluntly!
Breaking with up with anyone is always going to be hard for both parties; it's painful and unpleasant. Of course the degree of painfulness depends on the emotional investment involved and the time spent together, almost like some sort of ratio diagram oftime: heartbreak… Someone should so do that!
There are, of course, things that you can do to make it easier. These are quite simple common-sense rules, like: be honest but not nasty, be firm but not mean, do it quickly and don't let things drag on. It really is comparable to pulling off a plaster - the faster it's done, the less painful it seems to be.
Another rule to try and respect at all times is to be respectful. For example, don't break up with someone who you've been with for more than six months over Facebook or via text-message. Give that person the time they deserve to ask questions, understand, cry a little… (There are, certainly, instances where text message break-ups are acceptable; perhaps if the person in question is a psycho-bitch.) But otherwise, try to break up as you would wish to be broken up with.
Other than that, break-ups are just one of those unpleasant and highly inevitable consequences of relationships. Sometimes you know they're coming, sometimes they're totally out of the blue, sometimes you're the breaker-upper, sometimes the breaker-up-ee… Whatever happens, try and be responsible and diginifed; remember that this person once meant a lot to you.