A Kid is More Than Kiddin' Around

A story about accidental lesbian parenting.


Published:

Stefan Giuliani (stockvault.net)

There's something precious about children—and a teenager, well that's just another story, and I never thought at 28 I'd be labeled "the teenage step-parent." My...how far I've come in the past couple of years.

 

It's amazing to me what life can bring forth. For me, that was an incredible woman with a child. It's funny because I've always said I wanted to have children but I never knew it would come this soon! I can admit I was a part of the "I'll never date a woman with kids” club. Everyone knows about this both, men and women, and I knew for sure I'd be a member forever. I guess that's why they say, never say never!

 

I honestly didn't have a solid reason as to why I felt this way until I sat down and thought about it. I came up with a few different reasons why.

 

First off, I think being a parent equates to more responsibility than one has ever had. Not only are you responsible for your day-to-day life; you now have another life in your care. Yes, as the newbie I wouldn't be labeled the primary parent right away. However, there were things about my lifestyle that had to be adjusted. For example, discussing certain topics that I may deem appropriate but were labeled taboo to virgin ears. This was just one of the reasons I'd joined the club but it definitely wasn't at the top of the list.

 

There were other reasons why I said I would never date a woman with children and one of them was the fact there's something special about being able to have your own child with someone you're in love with. When you enter into a relationship where children are involved, I believe there is a feeling of being second in that child's life. You're competing for them to like you, to accept you, and hopefully one day love you.

 

Rounding up my in-depth conversation with myself and topping the list was the possibility of drama! This was the last thing I wanted or needed to deal with in my life. Not to say that drama comes with every woman that has a child, but from paying attention to the people around me it seemed this way. I started to ask myself how I would deal with someone's past relationship issues that may have resulted in a custody battle or the person before me having a problem with me now being labeled the "step-parent." So many things come into play—time, attention, etc. It's like playing one-on-one with Michael Jordan: I know I don't stand a chance.

 

However, it's now been more than a year and here I am standing strong. It hasn't been easy but I've learned so much, and not only about being a parent but about myself. Just when I thought I couldn't do it, me and V have a great relationship. I'm now labeled the second mom!


 

About the author:

I’m Lauren or LaurenAsh or LA whatever makes you happy go for it. I’m an artist. Whether it’s music, blogging, pretending to be Monet or motivating others, I’m all about creating works of art, from my perspective, to inspire others. I am EverydayGay! 

 

Let’s connect:

BeEverydayGay.Wordpress.com

About.me/LaurenAsh

Instagram @EverydaySchizo

Edit ModuleEdit Module
Edit ModuleShow Tags

Related Articles

“We were told having a child in Russia was a huge mistake”

What's it like being a same-sex parent in Moscow right now? One lesbian mum shares her story...

Ari Fitz’s documentary about butch pregnancy is beautiful and brilliant

My Mama Wears Timbs #Motherhood #Masculinity

How to survive Christmas with your family: LGBT style

Self-help coach Gina Battye shares her expert advice

My Future Family: How, where and when?

CARE Fertility’s Kathryn Bryant looks ahead to My Future Family Show this weekend

Add your comment:
Edit Module

Follow Us

    

 

Edit ModuleShow Tags
Edit ModuleShow Tags Edit ModuleShow Tags
Edit ModuleShow Tags Edit ModuleShow Tags
Edit ModuleShow Tags