Our guide to finding a sperm donor online
Considering using sperm donation to have a baby? Find your sperm donor online, on a dedicated website where you can select donors based on your own criteria!
How to find a sperm donor online
Looking for a sperm donor online is a great alternative to sperm banks as this method provides you with the opportunity to know more about your donor. Via the online platform, you can select someone who meets your requirements (age, location, personality, career etc.). Should you wish, you can then talk by phone, via online chat or arrange to meet in person. This will allow you to get to know them better, discover more about them, ask them questions about their medical history, their lifestyle, their motivations for becoming a donor, as well as anything else that you might want to discuss.
If you want to look for donors, you just need to register, write your ad and then browse other members’ profiles from all over the world. When you find someone interesting, simply send them a message using the online chat facility. Forums are also a great tool for finding sperm donors living in your area.
How to collect the donated sperm
Once you’ve found the perfect donor for you, make sure first to request documentation from him proving that he has undergone all of the required medical tests. It may be a little embarrassing but you need to be certain that he will not pass on any infections or genetic diseases to you or your baby.
That being done, it’s time to collect the donation. At this stage, people have very different preferences. Some ask their donor to come to their home in order to provide them with his sample, thus allowing the immediate use of fresh semen directly following collection. Others prefer the neutrality of a hotel room. Another option is to ask a friend to pick up the sample, if, for instance, you prefer not to meet the donor in person.
How can I get pregnant with sperm donation?
Once you’ve received the donation, you can either perform the insemination at home or in a licensed fertility centre, unless of course you were advised to undergo other fertility treatments. This is entirely according to your preferences. What matters more to you? Being at home where you can feel comfortable or the reassurance of receiving help from trained medical staff?
If you want to perform the insemination yourself, we recommend that you obtain the correct equipment in order to increase your chances of becoming pregnant. You can purchase an at-home insemination kit online or get what you need from a drugstore. Make sure the kit contains insemination instructions and any other items that you might need, such as a needleless syringe, sample containers, ovulation and pregnancy tests.
Another fertility treatment to consider is in vitro fertilisation (IVF). This technique is usually recommended after several unsuccessful attempts of artificial insemination. This is also a good solution for those with certain infertility issues and/or those who need donated eggs (in addition, or not, to donor sperm).
In short, IVF involves the retrieval of the woman’s eggs (via a minor surgical procedure) which are fertilised with sperm in a laboratory. The fertilisation occurs, therefore, outside of the body. When the embryos have developed enough they are then transferred into the woman’s uterus.
It’s important that you take the time to sit down and consider what’s best for you and your partner. Whatever path you choose, always do some research first, whether this is related to sperm donation, artificial insemination, IVF or any other fertility treatments.
Making your sperm donor your co-parent
One of the advantages of looking for a known sperm donor is that you have the possibility of choosing someone who can also be your co-parent. In short, this means that you will raise your child together (without being in a romantic relationship) and that you will share parental responsibilities and rights towards him or her.
Many sperm donors wish to play a more extensive role in the child’s life and not simply donate their sperm. Additionally, the idea of co-parenting with a platonic partner has become an attractive option for a growing number of aspiring parents. More and more same-sex couples are opting to partner up with another same-sex couple or a single person in order to create and raise a child together.
Co-parenting also attracts heterosexual individuals. Single women - and to a lesser extent, men – who haven’t yet found the right partner to have a child with, may find in this form of parenting a solution allowing them to enjoy the pleasures of parenthood.
Finding a co-parent and not just a sperm donor requires more research and time though, as you’re committing to raise a child together. You need to make sure that you are on the same page when it comes to the most important things, such as values, religion or lifestyle.
A like-minded person, someone you respect and value, someone who could be the best parent for your child and who you would be happy to partner with, could make an amazing match. It’s also essential that you and your co-parent can communicate and take the best decisions together, for the sake of your future child.
Writing a co-parenting agreement is highly recommended before the conception of the child, to ensure that everything is clear and agreed upon between the different parties. This document will serve to state the custody arrangements, who is the main care giver, what would happen in case of illness or an accident, etc. Of course, as we can’t plan everything in advance and life is unpredictable, you’ll certainly have to amend this document from time to time. On top of that, the needs of your child will evolve as they grow up, which will also necessitate some revisions.
Just as having a child is a wonderful experience, so is co-parenting, when you’re lucky to have found the right partner for you. Whether you are looking for a sperm donor or your co-parent, why not join the CoParents’ community and find your perfect match?
You can find out more at CoParents.co.uk.
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