YouTuber Melanie Murphy on bisexuality, bobs, and (YIKES) boyfriends
"I’m a modern Casper The Friendly Ghost, a pearly white translucent object who generates screams of denial from heteros and homos alike"
Melanie Murphy. Instagram.
Truth be told, most people don’t expect to see me at all, because in their minds I, Melanie Murphy, don’t even exist.
I’m a modern Casper The Friendly Ghost: a shimmer of mist, a pearly white translucent object who — while being both pleasant and personable — generates screams of denial from heteros and homos alike.
The "bisexual" (aka, me) lingers uncomfortably somewhere along this spectrum of sexual orientation that those on either end of it like to ignore, or yell at the sky about.
They’ll be in the club, pint in hand, glancing around the room, then the more open-minded of the gaggle might say, “How do you spot one though?" (Fictional clubber, Joe, says like he's talking about an alien who wears human skin).
"A bi could be among us… but how could we ever know? Do they smell different? Is it true they came together as a community and claimed the short-bob-with-a-side-fringe-hairstyle as theirs?
"One thing's for sure, anyway. They're all sluts. Wear your heart in bubble wrap if you're approached by one of them, okay? One night only. Play them at their own game!”
In reality we’re bloody everywhere, like fruit flies in summer, and we're just as capable of monogamy as you are, Joe (...and maybe that's "not at all" but it's got as little to do with our sexual orientation as it has to do with yours).
In fact, twice as many women identify as bisexual than identify as lesbian — we outnumber lesbians two to one — so yes, hi, we’re here, and some of us are queer (but some of us don’t like that label ‘cause, individuality).
We enjoy tasks such as: breathing, eating food, walking from place to place, having sex with vaginas and/or penises and/or nothing and/or both at the same time.
Some of us like superhero movies while others prefer anything by Richard Curtis.
We’re your father, your daughter, your obese neighbour, your scrawny eleven-year-old choir boy, your favourite actor and the women who sells you your phone credit in the corner shop.
Some of us call ourselves bisexuals, and some of us prefer to go by... our names.
My name is Melanie Murphy. I have a boyfriend who I adore, two cats, a library of books, a weird birthmark on my neck, and I love a good A-line dress with heels.
Want to see more from Melanie Murphy? Check out her YouTube channel here.
Only reading DIVA online? You're missing out. For more news, reviews and commentary, check out the latest issue. It's pretty badass, if we do say so ourselves.