Losing a son, gaining a daughter

Transgender comedian and writer Jordan Gray explores what it means to be a woman


Published:

Roy Burmiston

 

When my father first learned of my plans to transition, he said: “I will always support you. It’s just that... every parent imagines their child getting married and having children”.

 

Putting his outdated understanding of the world aside for one moment, I understood what he meant.

 

I told him: “Dad, let’s imagine for a second that instead of becoming a woman, I was marrying one instead. The advice would be the same: “Don’t think of it as losing a son, think of it as gaining a daughter. And, moving on, can I please have £2,000 for a dress I’m never going to wear again...?”

 

It’s now 2018 and, with that once-hypothetical lesbian wedding fast approaching, I am more determined than ever to explore what it really means to be a woman by “design”, marrying a woman by “default”. You’ve heard of “nouveau riche”? Think of me as “nouveau femme”!

 

It has its upsides. For example, we get to avoid that tired, old question that so many femme lesbian couples have to deal with: “So... which one of you is the man?” And though our closest friends would never dare question my gender, it’s amazing how so many of them have no qualms questioning my partner’s sexuality. Same difference! I’m a woman. Ipso facto, she’s a lesbian. It’s not rocket science. It’s biology, with a smidge of semantics.

 

@Talldarkfriend

 

Read the rest of Jordan’s column in the February issue of DIVA, available to buy in print or digitally here.

 

 

Only reading DIVA online? You're missing out. For more news, reviews and commentary, check out the latest issue. It's pretty badass, if we do say so ourselves.

 

divadigital.co.uk // divadirect.co.uk

 

Edit ModuleEdit Module
Edit ModuleShow Tags

Related Articles

Have you heard of Donna Gottschalk?

"The most famous lesbian photographer you've never heard of"

Comedian Sophie Duker on being a black bi babe in a white man world 🌍

"As a queer woman of colour, it’s still so rare to see or hear myself either onstage or in the audience"

🎭 Ed Fringe 2018: Ali McGregor β€” Decadence

"Ali McGregor doesn’t miss a beat. Decadance is slick and well-crafted"

🎭 Ed Fringe 2018: Janey Godley β€” Godley's Cream

"Go and see Janey – her stand up reminds us of what the Festival is really about"

Add your comment:
Edit Module

Follow Us

    

 

Edit ModuleShow Tags
Edit ModuleShow Tags Edit ModuleShow Tags
Edit ModuleShow Tags Edit ModuleShow Tags
Edit ModuleShow Tags