The family gaycation
"We're not a secret. People can see... we're a family"
Ok, so it wasn't the first family holiday as such, I mean we went away in a caravan at Easter to Ingoldmells, near Skegness for four days! So that was technically our first holiday together. But four rainy cold nights in Skegvegas, playing cards and hitting the 2p machines, is a bit different to the October sun on the volcano island of Tenerife, depending on your resort of course.
During our caravan holiday, we very much kept ourselves to ourselves. Didn't meet other families or mingle with them. Our night in the clubhouse consisted of two halfs each of flat beer, the youngest playing in the adventure centre and the oldest stuck with us sulking because at 12, he's too old for those sorts of things now. He soon cheered up spending all our spare change in the arcade though. Oh, and our dance with Pirate Pete lightened up the evening a right treat!
Me and the woman have been together for almost 18 months now and we've officially lived together for four months. So this was our first holiday all together, from our home, as a family, for a whole week! Yeah, a week! Seven days! That's the most time I've spent with kids, full on, 24/7. No break. Firstly, I want to say it was awesome in lots of way, but also in lots of ways, eye opening! Wow, well done full time parents who are doing this for life! This is some serious continuous shift, isn't it?
It was also the first time I realised we were being identified as a family. Interaction around the apartment pool was instant. Other people, families and kids chatting to us. It was lovely and although I am used to it from previous holidays, this time it was different. It wasn't long before we were asked, "So which one's the mum and which one's the dad?" After a polite chuckle and a shake of my head, I replied. "That's my partner and her two boys. We're on holiday together". Which was met with, "Thought so, but didn't like to ask". Erm... but you did just ask though, didn't you love? And you also assumed one of us would be playing the gender-assumed role of a male. The father. I wasn't offended though, I feel there was no reason to be, and I am pleased it's quite noticeable that we are a little unit when out together. What it did make me realise is... we're visible!
People don't assume that I'm just a friend or an aunt on holiday with them. I mean, this could be to do with my very, what some would call "obvious" hairstyle, but the point still stays the same. It was accepted and noted - we were a gay couple, on holiday, as a family. And everyone was cool! That realisation was pretty epic.
I've been away with ex-girlfriends and we would still be approached by guys just thinking we were mates on holiday together. Having children in tow made it more clear, I guess. Though I saw her get checked out a few times, which I followed up with a stern glare at said checker-outers!
I also know it could have been very different, in a different part of the world, surrounded by different people. But it was awesome to feel relaxed and not worried in any way. I didn't think there was anything to worry about in the first place, it's just an observation I made once it was made clear. We're not a secret. People can see... we're a family, we're all together, a little unit! And that felt good.
Though going back to the kids full-time thing - a week is more than enough, eh? It'd be a whole new (and long) blog if I was to be discussing what a different type of holiday it was for me compared to what I'm used to. Chilling and listing to my iPod... say what? Reading... er, you wish. The whole holiday revolving around me and what I want to do? In my dreams! There's these two other beings now that come first. It's taking some adjusting, I can tell you. But on the whole, it's awesome. Though a bit annoying at times for selfish reasons, of course.
Ha, jokes! But a little bit serious. Nah, mostly jokes. But really... when does the world start revolving around me again? Haha, just kidding. Jokes!
Lol, better sign off saying jokes!
But if you know, you know right?
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