Things I wish I’d known in 2017
Dating apps, self-acceptance and continual coming out
1. Take all the time to understand your sexuality and don’t feel pressure to label yourself for anyone if you’re not comfortable. While a huge number of people are confident enough to be able to proudly slap a name on their sexuality, others are not. You’re still valid.
2. You never stop coming out – and it doesn’t necessarily get easier. This is particularly difficult when you’ve not quite worked out who you are and you don’t know how to vocalise your confusion. But be patient, you’re braver than you think you are.
3. When you’re ready to speak, be honest with your nearest and dearest. Believe it or not, they want to understand your shockingly tragic desperate-for-a-date love life. Ultimately, they want to see you happy and they love you. Talk to them and let them listen – you’ll soon see how freeing it is.
4. It’s also perfectly fine if you haven’t figured out who you are or what you want. You have all the time in the world to work it out. Don’t compare yourself or your journey to anyone else. You’ll get where you need to be eventually at your own pace.
5. No matter how many times you drop tweets outlining your super gayness, you will still get male admirers sliding into your DMs. Read and not reply will be your friend if you’re not ready to come out. And don’t be sorry for it.
6. Find people like you. Listen to them, learn from them and support them. Their stories will give you comfort you didn’t know you needed.
7. Dating apps aren’t the be all and end all. There are other ways to meet ladies, especially when you’re living in the nation’s capital. Soho, I’m looking at you. (But a Grindr for girls would be nice, so to all you techies in the back, this is a public appeal for you to please, please, please help us. Please.)
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