What's in a type?

Butch, femme and all stops between – do you have a "type" and is that type based on gender identity?




So, fellow lady-lovers, I ask you the dreaded question - what's your type?


As much as we detest this question and offer up the same clichéd responses - good sense of humour, nice eyes, nice smile, kind etc - most of us will admit that deep down, we do have a type that we fall for. Look at your dating history and aside from the odd drunken mistake or moment of madness, I bet that there are similarities there. 


So what dictates your "type"? I had a discussion with a bisexual friend recently and she suggested something to me, which I put to you to mull over/discard.


My friend told me that although she's bisexual, she sways more towards women. And in light of this she has developed a theory - she stated that she can't emotionally attach to a man, but finds them attractive. Therefore a butch/boyish woman offers her emotional stability and a mental connection that she couldn't have with a man, yet still retaining some male characteristics; the way they dress, their attitude, their "gentlemanly" nature, their views on women and so on.


Now, I know that there are bisexual women out there who are attracted to femme/stone butch/boyish/lipstick lesbians (and everything in between), so her thoughts about herself clearly don't apply to everyone.


As a gay woman, I tend to fall for butch/boyish women too, so my friend's theory gave me food for thought. If I'm not emotionally or physically attracted to men, then why do I lust over/fall in love with women who fall onto the masculine side of the gender spectrum? 


For me, it's like this: I like a "gentlemanly" lady, I like a lady who wants to look after me, I like being protected - that's not to say that feminine lesbians can't do any looking after but it's a combination of butch qualities and a protective nature that gets me going.


I know that I don't want to be with a man, they're not appetising in any way, shape or form to me (unless it's Johnny Depp, of course), but I like some masculine qualities. I guess that it's the swagger; the overtly confident nature of a butch and their courage to be themselves in a society that seems to challenge everything that they are. It's the strength, often mental and occasionally physical, that butch and boyish women exhibit that makes me tick (and a good pair of muscly arms don't go amiss, either!).


All in all, I know that I love the female form... I like that in a butch woman you have the female form combined with a female mind with added extras of masculinity. A butch or boyish woman encompasses all that I like and, frankly, I'd be lost without them.


I'm interested in your opinions, DIVA readers. Whatever type you fancy - from Heather Peace to Portia di Rossi, and all stops between and beyond - who does it for you and why?



Only reading DIVA online? You're missing out. For more news, reviews and commentary, check out the latest issue. It's pretty badass, if we do say so ourselves.


divadigital.co.uk // divadirect.co.uk


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