What's in a type?
Butch, femme and all stops between – do you have a "type" and is that type based on gender identity?
So, fellow lady-lovers, I ask you the dreaded question - what's your type?
As much as we detest this question and offer up the same clichéd responses - good sense of humour, nice eyes, nice smile, kind etc - most of us will admit that deep down, we do have a type that we fall for. Look at your dating history and aside from the odd drunken mistake or moment of madness, I bet that there are similarities there.
So what dictates your "type"? I had a discussion with a bisexual friend recently and she suggested something to me, which I put to you to mull over/discard.
My friend told me that although she's bisexual, she sways more towards women. And in light of this she has developed a theory - she stated that she can't emotionally attach to a man, but finds them attractive. Therefore a butch/boyish woman offers her emotional stability and a mental connection that she couldn't have with a man, yet still retaining some male characteristics; the way they dress, their attitude, their "gentlemanly" nature, their views on women and so on.
Now, I know that there are bisexual women out there who are attracted to femme/stone butch/boyish/lipstick lesbians (and everything in between), so her thoughts about herself clearly don't apply to everyone.
As a gay woman, I tend to fall for butch/boyish women too, so my friend's theory gave me food for thought. If I'm not emotionally or physically attracted to men, then why do I lust over/fall in love with women who fall onto the masculine side of the gender spectrum?
For me, it's like this: I like a "gentlemanly" lady, I like a lady who wants to look after me, I like being protected - that's not to say that feminine lesbians can't do any looking after but it's a combination of butch qualities and a protective nature that gets me going.
I know that I don't want to be with a man, they're not appetising in any way, shape or form to me (unless it's Johnny Depp, of course), but I like some masculine qualities. I guess that it's the swagger; the overtly confident nature of a butch and their courage to be themselves in a society that seems to challenge everything that they are. It's the strength, often mental and occasionally physical, that butch and boyish women exhibit that makes me tick (and a good pair of muscly arms don't go amiss, either!).
All in all, I know that I love the female form... I like that in a butch woman you have the female form combined with a female mind with added extras of masculinity. A butch or boyish woman encompasses all that I like and, frankly, I'd be lost without them.
I'm interested in your opinions, DIVA readers. Whatever type you fancy - from Heather Peace to Portia di Rossi, and all stops between and beyond - who does it for you and why?
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