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5 Ways To Come Out

In a quandary about coming out? If you haven't done it yet, here's how

Jordie Black

Wed, 07 Nov 2012 13:39:28 GMT | Updated 4 years today

At some point, every out LGBT person had to 'come out'. There's many ways to come out with some more logical than others. This guide will help you decide which way is best for you.



  1. 1. Hold a party

Have a coming out party, get drunk and reveal that your sexuality isn't what people once thought. Solving problems through alcohol isn't condoned but relaxed, social environments can make situations like 'coming out', 'dancing on tables', or 'telling your parents that you failed your exams', easier. Downsides to telling people whilst intoxicated: the next day. Hopefully you'll wake up with full recollection of what you said and to whom. Chances are, if you're drunkā€¦ others will be too. Let's hope they remember so you don't have to repeat it all over again.

Coming-out-o-meter score: 2/5



  1. 2. Write a letter

It's common to find difficulty in knowing what to say, how to say it, or who to tell first. Benefits of writing a letter: the removal of actually having to say anything; it can be as short or as long as you like; you avoid the uncomfortable eye-contact received when verbally coming out; and often the person who receives your letter doesn't ask questions and carries on like normal - most likely because they already knew your sexuality.  One problem with letters: often the people you're writing to want to discuss it with you. Most of the time the conversation you thought you avoided will happen, just not on your own terms or timing.

Coming-out-o-meter score: 3/5



  1. 3. Invite people over, stand in your closet, play Diana Ross's I'm Coming Out, and simply come right out

The more flamboyant, the better, so why not go all-out and come out both literally and figuratively? If you're a natural loud person, this can be reflected through the way you come out; be yourself and be proud of who you are. The only weakness to this method is it can lead to people assuming you're joking. Once the issue is on the table though, the hard part is over.

Coming-out-o-meter score: 4/5



  1. 4. Don't make a big announcement, just slip it in

Picture the scene: You're in your kitchen with some friends; you're deciding whether to have jam or marmalade on your toast. One friend asks you which you'd prefer, you reply: "I'm gay". They repeat the question, asking again which you'd prefer, you reply: "Jam, please." You're done, you came out and you have jam on your toast. Coming out doesn't have to be big and it doesn't have to be a major event in your life.

Coming-out-o-meter score: 4/5



  1. 5. Don't come out; let people find out

Imagine you live alone, and suddenly you decide you'd like to become a vegetarian. You wouldn't call everyone you know and break the news that you have, in fact, converted to vegetarianism. This can be the same for coming out, apart from that your sexuality probably wasn't something you made a conscious choice about. If you find a girl you like and you make the brave move of introducing her to your friends, they'll work it out. Often, the less of a big deal you make it, the less of a big deal others will make it.

Coming-out-o-meter score: 5/5



You're young, or newly-accepting of your sexual orientation; you're probably scared of not being accepted, and you'd probably rather everyone just knew, rather than having to explain yourself or answer any unwanted questions. Whether your method of coming out is flamboyant or composed, don't be frightened. It's a life-stage that can be as big or as relaxed as you like. There may be prejudice regarding your sexuality, but those who care for you will do so regardless of your sexual preference.



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