A while back, I wrote about how some things are best left out of
your dating profile - bad habits, issues, exes, you know the
score.
But there are some things you should be clear about from the
start, if not in the profile itself then very early on in your
communication process. Casting a wide net is all well and good, but
it also helps to leave out the obviously unsuitable
partners.
I recently read an advice column where a woman was complaining
that her girlfriend (who she met online) keeps "dumping" her on
weekends so she could go on dates with other women and then
apologises and comes back. Assuming we're not talking about a woman
who's just not that into her girlfriend, this sounds like a classic
case of someone who's trying too hard to be monogamous when she
obviously doesn't want to be.
Does she not realise this herself? Does she believe she wouldn't
be accepted? Who knows.
For all we know, she could have been made up by the magazine so
the advice columnist has something to write about. What matters
here is that this sort of stuff should definitely factor into your
dating profile in some way to avoid situations like this one. This
is something that's pretty much key when trying to figure out
whether you're compatible with someone for a long term
relationship.
As important as it is to keep off-putting things out of your
profile in order to attract more potentially interesting women to
it, some lifestyle choices are too important to leave out if you
want to use online dating efficiently. Yes, stating some things may
be off-putting to some women you might meet, but in the long run,
it would make things easier for both of you. If devoted monogamy is
important to you, would you really want to spend countless dates
weeding out women who are looking for an open relationship?
They key here is to work out which parts of your personality and
life are a problem and which are a part of you that should be
accepted. They may not be hugely popular, they may put off some
women, but if they are truly a part of you, then you should
celebrate them, rather than hide them for the sake of appearing
more likeable.
After all, being hung up about your ex is a temporary predicament
you're more than likely hoping to get rid of sooner rather than
later. Being non-monogamous, bisexual or into more than the average
amount of personal space by nature, on the other hand, is most
likely here to stay.
Take me to DIVA Date!
