Got a problem? Ask Aunt Em

Life's not always easy... But whatever's eating you, DIVA's own Aunt Em is here to help

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Thu, 21 Apr 2011 16:45:54 GMT | Updated 2 years today

Whether it's issues at work or school, relationship or family difficulties, worries about sex and dating or something else entirely, Aunt Em is waiting to tackle your troubles. Write to her at problems@divamag.co.uk, and every month she will respond to selected readers in DIVA magazine. (We regret Aunt Em cannot enter into correspondence.)

And it's not just Aunt Em... Over the years, we've learnt that often readers have the best answers, so we'll also be posting problems here at divamag.co.uk for your responses. Some of these may appear in the magazine, too!

Here's a problem posted on the old website recently by Anna13, to get you started:

"hi , im in a relationship with my girlfriend and have been in it for a year , but recently all i keep thinking about is other girls,i love my girlfriend, i cant bear to be without her , i just dont know anymore, we dont have sex because i dont find that she turns me on , i dont know if its because of my own issues or that we have drifted apart maybe , i dont know what to do, any advice?"

What do you think? Post your advice for Anna in the comments section below.

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Louisa Randall - Tue, 20 Sep 2011 23:29:18 GMT -
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Louisa Randall - Tue, 20 Sep 2011 23:37:40 GMT -
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I have been in your position myself and it is a hard place to be. I have always been told that the key to a good relationship is talking, to be able to say how you are feeling and to let your girlfriend know how you are feeling will be best for you both as bottling feelings up will do you no good and will mess your head up, no to mention it wouldnt be fair on your girlfriend as she would carry on thinking everything is fine and would be getting mixed messages from you. As far as sex is concerned its not the be all and end all, but on the other hand it is a big part of a relationship but I think maybe telling her how you feel may help to resolve this issue as well, you may find that once you have gotten things off your chest that you may start wanting sex again, when you are not happy in a relationship the first thing most people do is to start looking at other women as it helps to distract yourself from the problems that you are facing, but trust me this is not the way to resolve anything, seriously talk to her and see what happens, hope all goes well
Jane Czyzselska - Wed, 27 Apr 2011 11:48:56 GMT -
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Anna, it sounds like you and your girlfriend would benefit from sitting down and talking honestly about how you're both feeling. You say you love her and can't bear to be without her yet you aren't turned on by her and you're often thinking about other women. Perhaps she is picking up on this too? You don't say whether she is initiating sex or not but whatever the issues between you, they won't go away until you bring them up for discussion. Good luck!