Dear Hot Stuff,
I imagine you get lots of emails from girls who want to
know how to use toys more effectively in their love life. If you
like, you can send their questions my way! In fact, toys play such
an important role for me, and have done for such a long time, that
now whenever I sleep with someone, I absolutely have to bring them
into the bedroom. It's gotten to a point where I can't orgasm
without them. Do you think this is a problem?
Cecile, Twickenham
Dear Toymaster from Twickenham,
First off, thanks for the offer! Indeed you do seem to be in the
complete opposite position to the many lesbians who often ask me
how they can successfully introduce toys into their sexual lives
with partners who are often either suspicious or intimated by
experimentation.
But I wonder how this toy addiction works out for you? My
guess is that you either have your own tried and tested technique
down to a T, one which works without fail (perhaps you're the
spitting image of Angelina Jolie, in which case, I'd warrant, even
the most unadventurous lesbo wouldn't baulk at a massive florescent
orange dildo introduced mid-coitus), or that just occasionally, it
just doesn't work out quite as hoped for. After all, toys tend to
be more easily introduced into long-term relationships of
confidence and intimacy rather then one-off rolls in the
sack...
In other words, whilst I wouldn't categorize this as a problem
per se, I can imagine it's an issue that can prove complicated from
time to time. What do you do when a girl doesn't seem at ease with
the idea of toys; kick her out of bed, pretend to have a headache,
fake it? As a big fan of toys myself, I can nevertheless imagine I
might be miffed if, on our first night in bed together, toys were
given prize position, a non-negotiable clause in that contract
between two known as how's-your-father.
No one is judging you, Toymaster. I've heard of a lot stranger
things being needed to get one awf but I would heartily suggest,
for your own sake, that you give the more traditional stuff another
go.
I'm pretty positive you haven't forgotten. It's a like riding a
bike, right? (At least in terms of the not forgetting part, but in
actuality sex is probably a lot closer to sumo wrestling,
without the nappies...) And you never know, you might like it. We
can get so attached to one way of doing things that change may be a
breath of fresh air. Most people introduce toys when in
need of a sexual boost. The likes of you and me just need to get
back to good old -fashioned fingers, tongues and other bodily
parts.
You're not throwing away the key to the toy-box, just tidying
them away for a while.
If you have question, query or quivering issue that
you would like to see treated, drop Hot Stuff a line at
hotstuff@divmag.co.uk
(in confidence).
And to keep abreast of all naughty news and goings
on, follow the adventures of DIVA magazine's sexpert on Twitter
@GemmaHalsey
