Dear Hot Stuff,
I'm a bad lesbian, I put so much effort into sex, but
try as I might, rubbing is something that completely eludes me. I
just haven't got the rhythm! Whenever I try to do it, I just end up
feeling a little daft, not to mention far from sexy. Have you got
any advice?
Laura, Finchley
Dear Friction in Finchley,
Tribadism, scissoring, rubbing or frottage, in French,
can indeed seem intimidating. I'm not going to lie to you Friction
(would I lie to you, baby?), I have a confession to make. I CANNOT
grind either. There I've said it. I find it uncomfortable, awkward
and all I can see are my wobbly bits wobbling all over the place,
in positions they should never be seen in.
So you see, Friction, you and I are in the same boat. A boat that
is sadly sailing along on a smooth, calm and tranquil river when by
all means and purposes it should be bouncing around, crushing the
waves on the high seas of tempestuous 'tribbing'.
Or should it?
Our grindage ineptitude is not the end of the world and you must
not let it get you down. Indeed, contrary to popular opinion (is my
opinion popular enough?), scissoring , which is a specific form
genital to genital rubbing, ain't all that it's cracked up to be
and perhaps it's better left to glam-pop New York bands (mentioning
no names, Scissor Sisters) to popularize its street-cred
rather than actually practiced… (But I'm open to discussion on
this.)
Perhaps it's this question of 'effort' that's putting you off,
Friction. Indeed, if you are making a concerted effort to
grind/rub, you may just be missing out on one of the most important
aspects of this particular sexual technique. It has to be NATURAL.
Rubbing more than anything else is something that can't be planned
out, and above all cannot be limited to traditional GG
contact.
Indeed, it's impossible to say to oneself: "Right, I'm going to
start with my fingers, do a little oral, check in for touch of anal
and conclude with a rubbing sesh." NO. The trick to tribadism is to
let it happen when it wants to happen. I guarantee that if you let
it come naturally, in the spur of the moment, everything will work
out. And one of the marvelous things about rubbing is it can be
done in so many ways! Arms, torso, bums, thighs (a personal
favorite) - just about anywhere can lend itself to
frottage.
I've come to view tribadism as a happy accident that can occur
during sex. Don't forget, Friction, that the most amazing thing
about lesbian sex is that it's an on-going process of indeterminate
duration without a full stop. Try and see rubbing as one of the
many forms of punctuation along the way as opposed to a means to an
end. Above all, chillax and focus on stimulation and sensation
rather than abiding by any non-existent rules (or thinking about
your wobbly bits).
If all else fails, invest in a high-quality lube that will
facilitate your rubbing endeavors…
This one's brilliant...
There's really nothing more satisfying than a hard days
grind…
Don't forget! If you have question, query or quivering
issue that you would like to see treated, send me a mail at
hotstuff@divmag.co.uk. (It can be our little
secret…)
