Dear Hot Stuff,
During a recent discussion about lesbian sex scenes, my
partner revealed that one her favorites is from the second season
of The Real L Word, which features female ejaculation! It kind of
came a bit out of the blue and it's gotten me thinking about this
particular, er, activity. I think my better half is interested in
exploring, even though she perhaps wouldn't admit it, and I have to
say, I'm intrigued too... What's it all about?
Casey, Farnham
Dear Fountain in Farnham,
Female ejaculation, gushing, squirting, or as the slightly less
vulgar French call it 'la femme fontaine', is indeed somewhat of a
sticky issue.
Often linked with the 'controversial' existence of the G-spot, in
recent years the phenomenon has evolved from something embarrassing
to something desirable. For a man to make a woman 'squirt' has
become the in thing to do; a mark of his sexual prowess. For women,
well, it's the new elusive pinnacle of sexual ecstasy we all now
have to aspire to in order to confirm the validity of our sexual
experience- yet another magnificent donation of inadequacy from the
world of porn... As if we didn't have enough to contend with
already, what with designa vaginas and gravity-defying tits.
However, despite my obvious grudge against squirting as unrealistic
figment of male fantasy, it's true that it's a genuine sexual
occurrence amongst certain women. The only things we really know
for sure is that the liquid produced is not urine, but we don't
know quite what it is. We think it comes the female prostate, also
known as the urethral sponge or the G-spot, but, hell, could
someone publish a map already? We think it's related to a high
state of total arousal, but is time the key? It can happen after
five minutes just as after an hour of sexual stimulation.
As you can see, Fountain, saying to yourself 'I'm going to make my
girlfriend gush' is not so simple. You'd have a much easier time
thinking 'I'm going to make her a bacon sandwich for tea'. And as
for guides on the internet, well, I'd take the step by step plan on
Askmen.co.uk with a pinch of salt. Not only would your girlfriend
probably object to you poking around and trying to manipulate this
and that in a clockwise then anti-clockwise direction followed by a
secret handshake with your vulva and a grunt of open sesame, but
she'll undoubtedly laugh at you too. Women don't come with manuals
(damnit!) and orgasms aren't flatpack furniture.
Fountain, I don't mean to tread on your dreams here, babe, but a
much more admirable goal is to just be an amazing lover. If you're
attentive, gentle when you need to be, wild when she wants it,
generous, uninhibited, explorative and so on and so forth, if the
floodgates of heaven are meant to open up and shower you with love,
then I'm sure they will.
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