Dear Hot Stuff,
I met the most fantastic girl a while back, at a
feminist conference. She was really very attractive indeed... Soon
after, I started talking to her and we both began to
smile uncontrollably so I asked her out for a drink the following
week. My heart literally skipped a beat when she said yes but
I was convinced she was straight... until she kissed me. My insides
exploded and I wanted so much more, it was the best kiss I've ever
had. It was also the first time she had ever kissed a
girl.
She came out to her flat mate the other day, I am so
proud of her, but see, now comes the scary step of telling her
parents
What can I do to help her come out and make things
easier with her family? What if her dad wants to check me out? (Not
a sexual way of course, but like, meet me?) I really want to do
right by her, I know she's the one, I care about her a
lot...
Caroline, Stockholm - Sweden
Dear Stuck in Stockholm,
Trevligt att råkas! It's lovely to hear from one of my absolute
favourite places in the world. It's also nice to know, that despite
Stockholm being a veritable eden of gorgeous hot-white blondes, one
might still need a hand from time to time when it comes to lurve
and relationships.
The good news is that your heart is not the only thing to have
skipped something, you've also successfully managed to skip what is
possibly the most singularly difficult step of a hetero-2-lesbian
relationship - actually 'convincing' said 'hetero' to 'come out'.
So congratulations, we clearly have the most powerful kiss since
Sleeping Beauty on our hands here.
After so much success, I can appreciate your trepidation in
regards to her family. My best advice would be 'proceed with
caution'. Remember, though it may have been your magical kiss that
led to this point, coming out to one's family is, above all, a
personal experience. Your whole approach needs to be: 'I am
available as little or as much as you need to me to be. If you want
me to come with you, I can; if you want me to stay in the car, I
can; if you want me to buy you a stiff drink when it's all over, I
can do that too.'
You also need to make sure this is also a step that she is
taking for herself, and not for you. She must know that there is no
pressure; you'll still love her whether she goes through with it or
not. Chances are, it will all go swimmingly, in which case you may
be required to meet her family. Good luck and just be your
gorgeous, charismatic and natural self. If their daughter loves
you, they'll love you too.
If things don't go so well, arm yourself with the following,
that your girlfriend came out to the most important person already:
herself. If her family needs time, be there for her; supportive,
loving and selfless. Things will work themselves out.
Oh, and no snogging in front of the parents, at least for a
while.
Pssst! Got a problem for Hot Stuff? Email hotstuff@divamag.co.uk, in
confidence. (That means we won't broadcast your name to all and
sundry.)
