Hot Stuff: It's Seexxmaass!

Christmas: a time of goodwill to all men, sharing moments with family and delicately savoring the latest M&S seasonal offerings... Right?

Didn't think so.

The emails I've been receiving from you dirty lot have totally ruined my Christmas spirit. It's out with all this goodwill business and in with heeeelllooo ladies it's SEEXXMAASS. I'm truly shocked and appalled. Really I am.

No, of course I'm not, it's bloody marvelous!

So a break from the norm this week as far too many of you festive fiends have been (sexually?) harassing me with Noël naughtiness, yuletide yearnings and very merry messages indeed.  Luckily your remarks, questions, musings can be simply and concisely answered:

A vibrator.

What might my grandmother appreciate as a gift? A vibrator.

Which small object makes for the perfect stocking filler? A vibrator.

Can you recommend an interesting toy for my dog? A vibrator.

What could I put in my homemade Christmas crackers? A (mini) vibrator.

I'm sick of god-awful Xmas TV, anything on at the movies? Hysteria- a film about vibrators.

So here, in DIVA style exclusivity for all you tinseled totties, our top five magical vibrating vibrators of the season. Just what you need to have a very merry Christmas indeed...

5. The Powerball Vibrator

This fabulous little bowling ball of a vibrator boasts ten different speeds. Not bad at all and if you bought enough of them, would make for gorgeous Christmas tree decs! 

http://www.divadirect.co.uk/sex-toys/vibrators/powerball-vibrator-blue.html

4. FingO

You won't be fingoing anywhere this Christmas with these little babies. What better excuse too, for not helping with the washing up! Electricity and water and all that.

http://www.divadirect.co.uk/sex-toys/vibrators/fingo-4.html

3. B Swish

No it's not the latest iPod, it's a chic mini vibrator! Thanks Mum!

http://www.divadirect.co.uk/sex-toys/vibrators/b-swish-b-curious-vibrator.html

2. Passion Flower G Vibrator

If anyone can let me know what this one actually does, I'd be interested in knowing... No not like that! (Although, maybe... Er, email me.)

http://www.divadirect.co.uk/sex-toys/vibrators/passion-flower-g-vibrator.html

1. Wand Essentials: Seven Speed Massager

The perfect gift for both Harry Potter fans and lesbunums alike, this vintage-style wand massager is a nostalgic pleasure trip  back to the 70s. But be careful, it's only for girls who have been good...

http://www.divadirect.co.uk/sex-toys/vibrators/wand-essentials-seven-speed-massager.html