Christmas: a time of goodwill to
all men, sharing moments with family and delicately savoring the
latest M&S seasonal offerings... Right?
The emails I've been
receiving from you dirty lot have totally ruined my Christmas
spirit. It's out with all this goodwill business and in with
heeeelllooo ladies it's SEEXXMAASS. I'm truly shocked and appalled.
Really I am.
No, of course I'm not, it's
So a break from the
norm this week as far too many of you festive fiends have been
(sexually?) harassing me with Noël naughtiness, yuletide yearnings
and very merry messages indeed. Luckily your remarks,
questions, musings can be simply and concisely answered:
What might my grandmother
appreciate as a gift? A vibrator.
Which small object makes for the
perfect stocking filler? A vibrator.
Can you recommend an interesting
toy for my dog? A vibrator.
What could I put in my homemade
Christmas crackers? A (mini) vibrator.
I'm sick of god-awful Xmas TV,
anything on at the movies? Hysteria- a film about
So here, in DIVA style
exclusivity for all you tinseled totties, our top five magical
vibrating vibrators of the season. Just what you need to have a
very merry Christmas indeed...
5. The Powerball
This fabulous little
bowling ball of a vibrator boasts ten different speeds. Not bad at
all and if you bought enough of them, would make for gorgeous
Christmas tree decs!
You won't be fingoing anywhere
this Christmas with these little babies. What better excuse too,
for not helping with the washing up! Electricity and water and
No it's not the latest iPod,
it's a chic mini vibrator! Thanks Mum!
2. Passion Flower G
If anyone can let me know what
this one actually does, I'd be interested in
knowing... No not like that! (Although, maybe... Er, email
1. Wand Essentials: Seven Speed
The perfect gift for both Harry
Potter fans and lesbunums alike, this vintage-style wand massager
is a nostalgic pleasure trip back to the 70s. But be careful,
it's only for girls who have been good...