Dear Hot Stuff,
My 18-year-old sister has just come out as gay, I'm so
proud of her! Our parents were a little taken aback but otherwise
fine, after all, they went through the same thing with
I'm writing to you because I know that she will look to
me to take her out on the town and begin dating and whatnot, but
I've been with my partner for six years since coming out at 20. I
feel like a bit of an old fart! What can I do to help
Lauren from Vale of Health
Dear Veteran from Vale of Health,
Well, you could always send your sister my way if it would make
things easier for you? I could take care of her in a kind of
Christian Grey* slighter dominant older woman, non-relationship
kind of way?
I understand completely.
Well then, where to begin? Firstly, Veteran, just because you're
in a long term relationship doesn't mean you're an old fogey! It's
absolutely fabulous to be in such a durable partnership and if
spending every weekend in your PJs with a glass of wine instead of
dancing until dawn out on Camden High Street makes you boring, then
so bloomin' well be it.
So, what shall we do with your baby sister? Firstly, let it be
known that the quantity of alcohol imbibed and then vomited won't
make the celebrations/ bonding process any more qualitative. The
most important thing is that you are very simply there for her -
accessible and supportive at all times, be it for answering
questions about sex, setting up a Gaydargirls account or buying her
her very first copy of DIVA.
There are obviously several other things that need to be done
almost immediately. For example, she should almost definitely cut
all of her hair off and stop shaving... I'M KIDDING.
No, but seriously, you should start with simple things. For
example, she might not have any gay friends yet and so it'll be up
to big sis to accompany little sis out for her premiere pink soirée
on the town. Invite your mates along, make an evening of it. You
never know, it might almost be like a second coming out for you!
Above all, take your mind back to when you first took your first
baby lesbian steps all those years ago and be the mentor that many
of us wish we'd had back then. The one that says, go for it, I'm
proud of you, you can do whatever you want to do and be whoever the
hell you like.
(*I neither condone nor endorse the absolute pile of
regressionist bollocks, Fifty Shades of Grey. I mean, who the
frigging hell can orgasm from a NIPPLE MASSAGE? Let's all have a
hearty giggle and move on. Please.)
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