Dear Hot Stuff,
I recently met an older woman on Gaydar. We've been
chatting now for a couple of months and finally met for coffee the
other day. She's adorable; intelligent, witty and nice-looking.
She's almost the perfect woman except I just don't feel any spark.
It's such a shame because I've been going through a rough patch
with girls my own age who keep messing me around and getting me
down. I think it's just the feeling between us that is stopping me,
but I'm frightened it might be her age... Should I force myself to
give things a go?
Marie-Innés, Lower Framlington
Dear MILF,
I think that the very fact you're sending me this mail, MILF,
almost answers your question for you. We should want to jump
head-first into a relationship with someone. The spark, the feeling
(reciprocated or not) must be the thing that we go on, surely? If
not, what else would a relationship be but a calculation?
For example:
Looks - fairly similar
Plus
Salary - passable
Minus
Domicile - not within walking distance
Equals = "yeah, why not?"
What did Meatloaf say? Two out of three ain't bad?
Don't get me wrong, MILF. I understand your hesitance. I would
be amazing to have a have-it-all girlfriend, but how long would it
last? Are you the kind of person capable of maintaining a
relationship of ease, of convenience? It can't be the case,
otherwise you wouldn't be asking yourself (or me) these questions.
Forcing yourself wouldn't be fair on you and it wouldn't be fair on
her and as it sounds like you know from from your recent
experiences, leading people on is a cruel game.
Having said all of this, feelings are buggers, they really
are. Changing over time, developing into love, evolving into
complicity. And don't forget that older women tend to have a trick
or two up their sleeves, not to mention added emotional maturity,
honesty and the capacity to pay for dinner! Dating an older woman
is a formative experience I would heartily endorse, but only if
both parties are frank with one another and aware of the 'we're
just dating' clause.
But decide quickly, hot older women don't stay on the market
very long!
If you have question, query or quivering issue that
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