Dear Hot Stuff,
I have a serious problem. It's been on my mind for a
while now and I need
someone more experienced to give me some
I'm 19 years old and I live in a small town. I work in a
coffee shop owned by a lesbian couple and I know it might sound
crazy, but I think I'm falling for one of them. She is 46 - the
same age as my mum.
This is where things get complicated. The feeling is
clearly mutual, because she keeps texting me and 'inviting' me to
do stuff with her. I feel like we really connect when we are around
one another. I catch her looking at me and trying to touch me as
much as possible when there is no one else around. (Of course it
doesn't happen when her partner is there.)
I don't know what to do. I'm totally attracted to her
and I think she kind of likes me too, but she is my boss and so is
her partner! If I act on my feelings, I could lose the connection
that we have not to mention my job. I feel like I'm losing my mind.
If we were to act upon how we feel, she might freak out too! We
might actually repulse one another in real life. I'm so confused.
Maybe we should get really drunk and just do it.
Please help me before I mess up.
Dear Small Town Sappho,
It seems to me that we have a classic case of 'should I,
shouldn't I' going on here.
But before we really get down into the nitty gritty of things,
before we grope the arse and slip a bit of the old tongue to this
big sexual beast of an issue here, let's get one thing out of the
No matter how HOT this woman is, no matter if her coffee shop is
actually a front for an illegal caviar and champagne operation, no
matter if she be the biologically impossible offspring of the
improbable union of Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox, heck, this woman
could be made of chocolate-bloody- ice-cream, we do not care.
She is practically MARRIED and someone in this whole scenario
should respect that! She doesn't seem to and you're clearly
struggling to. Not to mention she is the same age as your
Really, girl (yes, that was a black American RnB style 'girrl'),
this is all just wrong. Verrry wrong.
If your town really is small as you say it is, something as 'out
there' as a lesbian affair in the local coffee shop is not going to
stay secret very long. So option one, going for it and hoping
things stay on the down-below, just ain't happening.
Plus, option one just seems like a bad idea all round come to
think of it. The relationship between you two doesn't sound all
that healthy and this woman seems to have even more power over you
than most bosses should. Touching you whilst her partner's back is
turned is bordering on plain creepy... And yet again, where is
anyone's consideration for the partner in this?
Think long and hard before acting upon your confusion, Small
Town. There is no possible positive outcome to this scenario, apart
from perhaps the kick of shagging a dubious cougar. But even that
sounds unlikely as you use the word 'repulse'. Unusual
perhaps, for someone so ostensibly turned on by this woman?
Your confusion is linked to lust and the thrill of secrecy. It
could also be that you simply like spending time together. In which
case maybe the next time she invites you to do 'stuff' you could
use that opportunity to talk to her honestly about the situation
you've been forced into and hope you still have a job once the 'we
can still be friends' card has been played. If you don't then she
isn't the kind of person I'd want to work for.
Oh, and Small Town, getting drunk so that something
(finally) happens? Bad, bad idea.
The more I think about it, Small Town, the more this story seems
like a dodgy made-for-TV movie. 'The story of a 40-year-old sexual
predator and her youthful prey...'
My advice would be to keep far, far away and take some time to
think long and hard before diving into this particular lady
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