Dear Hot Stuff,
I've just started seeing this girl. She's incredible;
beautiful, sexy and intelligent. It sounds like a cliché but we
just seem to click. Sex is also really good, except for the fact
that I'm into penetration and she doesn't seem at ease with the
idea at all. Is there anything you could
suggest?
Frederica, South Shields
Dear Slippy in South Shields,
Penetration; amazing if you're into it, complicated for both the
wannabe-penetrated and the would-be penetrator if there is someone
in the duo who isn't. But let's just get one thing clear before we
delve any deeper down the rabbit hole of penetration politics; just
because someone is a penetration fan does NOT mean they want a man,
or they're becoming straight or blah blah. Bollocks. The
theoretical ins and outs of penetration are fascinating but have no
place in the bedroom, unless in the most literal of senses. What
makes us lesbian is not WHAT we want to do, but WHO we want to do
it with.
Is the problem that you've asked her to do it and she won't? Or
that you would like to try it with her and she's reluctant?
Either way, the first step to be taken is the most basic, that of
communication. Right bang in the middle of lurve-making is perhaps
not the most subtle moment to ask. How would that pan out? 'Er, I
know you're busy down there right this second, but darling, would
you very much mind inserting a…' No. Like the very act of
penetration itself, it's something that should be built up to,
enticed and tickled into being.
If she's never done it before, it's maybe that she's nervous.
Reassure her, tell her it's what you'd like, show her how to do it…
The describing and the explaining might get her as hot under the
collar as actually doing it…
But Slippy, if you're the penetration-protagonist, anxious to flex
your finger muscles, you must understand that to someone who's
never "been there, done that", just the idea of it can seem a
little intimidating. Start slowly, one finger only, and slowly
build to more. If strap-ons action is your goal, let softer toys be
your stepping stones down the road to fully-fledged penetrative
humping. Why not invest in a smaller sexcessory, something slightly
less intimating to the uninitiated. A basic penetrative toy such as
this might do the trick.
If, going back to my opening statement, the heart of the problem
really is to do with the question of emulating heterosexual sex;
the Anniix is an innovative new
dildo that slides onto two digits, becoming an extension of the
hand. Designed by lesbians for lesbians, a more engaging and
intimate sexccessory of this nature could well help you and your
lady-love along the path to all-out dildo delight.
And Slippy, remember; time, patience and titillation are the key.
If she's not into it right now, it doesn't mean that she won't be
soon, the idea might just take time to penetrate…
If you have question, query or quivering issue that
you would like to see treated, send me a mail at
hotstuff@divmag.co.uk. (It can be our little
secret…)
