Nobody forgets their first meeting with my mother Liz
Webber. A fiery, exotic Anglo-Italian Jew, my mother is never
shy to express her opinions. Whilst she was less than impressed
with my rebellious teenage antics (sneaking out to the park on her
wedding anniversary to kiss my first crush raised tempers),
bursting out of the closet during my first year at uni fostered her
ongoing supportive attitude of my lifestyle. She even wrote a
column about her response to the process while I was editing g3
magazine.
Here are some of her best bits, quoted directly from the wonderful
world of Facebook whilst on my travels through Canada, Mexico, the
US and - randomly - France:
Mum (on Lady Gaga): Is she even gay? She was
interviewed on BBC1 today and thoroughly confused me.
Mum (on the cult of celebrity): How can you
possibly suggest that I have any opinion of Cheryl Cole except that
she is an over paid moron. Richard Branson is a very rich man who I
respect but don't find very interesting.
Mum (on the royal wedding): I'm not really an
anti-monarchist; I just feel it's a lot of fuss for nothing. I love
weddings but this one is no more special than if one of my friend's
children got married.
Jo (on April Fool's Day): Mum, I'm reconsidering
this whole gay lark. I've just met the most incredible, eligible
Jewish guy and I'm thinking of getting engaged and leaving my
missus.
Mum: You're pulling my leg, aren't you!
Jo: I confess. Yup. FAIL!
Mum (on two men arrested in a London gym for having
sex): It wouldn't have made any difference if it had
been a heterosexual couple. It is an offence to public
decency!
Jo (status update on my time in L.A): Est très
heureux. Crazy night in West Hollywood partyin' at the Abbey!
Mum: Grammar my dear = je suis tres heureuse
(f).
Mum (during filming the Candy Bar Girls): I've
told everyone about the show. I know it wasn't an easy thing for
you to undertake. I'm really proud of everything you've
achieved!
In short, despite the fact that my mother and I don't always see
eye-to-eye on certain issues, she has always been there for
me. She has always revelled in my success and been a shoulder
to sob on when I've been dealt a harsh blow. Coming out (and moving
out) actually solidified our relationship, and now I've reached
this epic milestone of the big 3-0, she's the first person I call
when having any professional or personal quandaries. One of her
trademark comments ("floor is for feet") has resonated with me over
the decades, so we'll keep our feet firmly planted, walking side by
side throughout the forthcoming challenges of the weeks, months and
years to come. Love you lots mum!
