Coming out at work from day one
When I started working at the PR agency, I sensed it was a very
accepting environment. It was a young agency with a diverse mix of
people and there were a lot of gay men working there already.
However as soon as those men walk into a room, clients or
journalists can guess that they're gay, whereas everyone presumed I
was another straight girl. I casually mentioned 'my girlfriend' in
the first week to a few colleagues on my team. They looked a bit
taken aback but they didn't say anything further, and then I just
let the word spread that there was a lesbian in the office (which
it did, very fast!). This allowed me to go into any conversation
with new colleagues that I met in the coming weeks totally honestly
rather than having to come out to everyone on a one-to-one
basis.
Kids come in handy
Within the first month I brought my girlfriend at the time to a
family-centric event the agency had organised and she brought her
two adorable little cousins. Having kids there while she was
introduced to my colleagues helped break the ice as the kids were a
great distraction/focus point.
Honesty
Because I've worked at the agency for two years now, most people
in the office I would count more as friends than colleagues, it's
like an extended family due to the nature of the work we do, so I
chat about my nights out on the scene, arguments with a girlfriend
and more recently, dates with girls in exactly the same way as the
straight girls I work with talk about their lives, although there
may be the occasional additional questions like 'What's the rule
about which of you pays for a date when you're both girls?' 'Are
arguments worse when you're both PMS-ing?' I always try and answer
these though (within limits) because it normalises what is an
otherwise unknown part of society to them.
There's a scene in 'Milk' where Harvey said "We have to let all
those people out there know that they know one of us" which really
stayed with me and I truly believe being open about your life
challenges people's assumptions and can make a difference.
Newbies starting
The nature of PR means we have a lot of new starters in the
office on a relatively regular basis, so I have to do more
one-to-one coming out with the newbies. The girls on my team are
amazing and because we all chat about life stuff we have going on,
this allows for the new people to hear the 'l' word early on. Once
though, when we had a lot of newbies, my colleague took it upon
herself to shout across the office 'Have you heard about the trans
winner of Eurovision? She's quite hot, would you go there?' which
certainly got the message out there! It was a novel way to come out
to people I barely knew.
Clients
The trickier situation is with clients. I once name-dropped my
ex girlfriend to a client who knew her in a professional capacity
and the look of shock and lack of comprehension on his face when I
said she was my ex said it all. I'm sure most clients couldn't care
less who I sleep with, but a monthly client meeting is not the
place to talk about my personal life the way I can with colleagues
I sit with everyday, so I've learnt to use the blessed 'they' word
around clients and it's the one area of my life where I'm not
completely open about my sexuality.
PHOTO: L+R
