You know, I was thinking just the other day, that we simply
don't have enough films in which the only sex a lesbian has is with
a man.
Because that's how it works, right girls? We call ourselves
lesbians for an indistinct period of time, spend it not having sex,
sipping herbal tea, complaining about periods, indulging in
flirtatious pillow fights with the central heterosexual male figure
in our life, watching animal documentaries, snivelling about all
the babies we can never have due to our inferior relationships, and
generally skirting around the cesspools of society about as
insignificant as lime scale until - until, that is, we discover the
power of the penis.
Well, if that's how it ended, I might have forgiven Your Sister's
Sister where, yes, the only sex a lesbian has is with a man.
But no, it's worse. This is how it goes.
Jack - central phallic figure - is finding it hard to deal with
life in the aftermath of his brother's death. Unsurprising, that.
Iris - best friend and ex-girlfriend of dead brother - sends him
off to her isolated family cottage for some therapeutic
alone-time.
But lo! Who's at the cottage? None other that Iris's lesbian
sister Hannah, who's just broken up with her long term
girlfriend.
You guessed it: discomfort, awkwardness, inappropriate (and
improbable) flirtation, inebriation and a hasty bonk ensues. Who
seduced whom is indeterminable, but it is by and large
unsatisfactory, and deeply regretted the next day - especially when
sister Iris appears unannounced.
Sister Iris who, by the way, is secretly in love with Jack.
Jack proceeds to fret and attempt to protect his friendship with
Iris by hiding his one-night-romp with her sister. That is until he
discovers lesbian Hannah's intentions behind sleeping with him -
which funnily enough, it turns out, is not actually the
irresistibility of cock. Nope. Hannah isn't a 'phase lesbian' -
she's the other kind. The mental, needy, hormonal, and murderously
broody type who'll prick holes in a condom and shag any guy who
happens to chance along.
This revelation comes alongside the other big, shocking revelation
that Iris is in love with Jack. Yes, yes, Jack supposes he loves
her too, but it's all too difficult with the dead
brother/ex-boyfriend and all. And of course, don't forget Jack's
ego is obviously devastatingly bruised. Poor thing. Fancy thinking
you converted a lesbian and finding out that you actually weren't
all that awesome, and she only wanted your spunk. Poor boy. So he
cycles off over the horizon in a strop, beautifully conveyed in a
moody montage of the three morose faces. But Jack is the man, and
everything must hinge upon the moment where he finally decides what
he wants, and then he must get his way.
And since the film has already done away with any sense of
realism, it turns out everyone is happy in the end; the broody
lesbian may or may not be knocked up by her sister's boyfriend,
sister is only too happy to be 'involved' with the baby, and Jack
is all prepped for being Big Daddy.
The film itself, being a low-budget indie, might easily be
reworked as a stage play - it involves only three main characters,
long scenes of dialogue, and not very much happening. With a more
subtle, nuanced plot and less hyperbolic characters it might have
had the potential to be a poignant exploration of desire and
relationships.
Though, even so, Emily Blunt's bizarre attempt at an American
accent - which sounds rather like she has a flailing fish in her
mouth in lieu of a tongue - might hinder things ever so
slightly.
Your Sister's Sister is in cinemas on 29 June
