Last Thursday, global superstar and sexbomb Rihanna picked me
out of the audience at her sold-out gig at the O2 Arena and gave me
a lap dance in front of 20,000 screaming fans (see video below). As
I told radio one presenter Greg James when he tracked me down to
interview me live on air about the experience the next day, all
that was running through my head at the time was 'dream come true.
Dream come true. Dream come true'.
'I want a girl tonight', Rihanna said before demanding, 'you
with the short hair, get up here'. Maybe she could tell I was a
lesbian, maybe she genuinely liked the cut of my jib, or maybe she
was really pointing to the girl behind me. Whatevs. With the
S&M singer, straddling me and shoving her breasts in my face, I
really didn't care.
I wanted to put on a bit of a show, rather than just lie there
like a corpse. But I couldn't possibly take liberties with Ri Ri.
Especially after the whole Chris Brown thing, so at first I just
pretended to run my hand up and down her sweat-dripping, semi naked
body. Rihanna, however, was up for it.
She grabbed my hand and slammed it on to her left breast. That
gave me all the permission I needed to, as Rihanna would say, "Go
hard." I grabbed her waist and tossed back my head as she knelt
over me and begun to perform what I imagine you have to pay A LOT
extra for at Stringfellows.
Before I knew it, the bed had slowly started spinning and
descended under the stage.
What happened then is between me and Ri Ri.
As I was making my way through the crowds after the gig, people
were looking over at me and nudging their friends -whispering,
'that's her, that's her'. People began coming up to me asking what
Rihanna had said to me, was it planned, what did her breasts feel
like.' Some people even asked to touch my hand. I won't pretend I
didn't love it.
But what was most interesting about this whole crazy experience
was that the people coming up to me after telling me how jealous
they were of my lapdance weren't the straight guys, but the girls.
I don't imagine they were all lesbians, but they were all gagging
for a sex show from a girl, so… I don't know.
Also what's stuck me about the mini media maelstrom that
followed (I work for the Evening Standard so dutifully wrote a news
story about it and became Friday's page 3 splash) is that no one's
asked me if I'm gay or really focussed on it being a girl-on-girl
lap dance.
Rihanna is just pure sex appeal, gay, straight - everyone seems
to lust after her. That I got a great handful of my idol's left
boob is a story I'll be dining out on for years. It was absolutely
the night of my life.
