In an attempt to deliver to you an informative report on the
hottest trends in lesbian land today as recorded by the not
entirely reliable Google, I have discovered the first search term
that comes up after you key in the word 'lesbian' is 'lesbian
seagull.'
After some very serious researching, I remain completely unable
to determine the reason for this. There have been no reports of a
sudden influx of lesbian seagulls, the song 'Lesbian Seagull' was
originally released way back in 1979, and while Engelbert
Humperdinck - who sang the song on the end credits for Beavis and
Butthead do America - enjoyed a brief spat of limelight in May when
he entered the Eurovision song contest, he didn't sing that song
and he didn't even win. Rubbish.
It's strange, not least because there are some very important
lesbian-related things happening this week, mainly to do with
American fast food chain Chick-fil-A. Chick-fil-A has just been
revealed to have donated over three million dollars to anti-gay
organisations since 2006, including the likes of Focus on the
Family; a Christian organisation fighting the good fight to keep
same sex marriage illegal.
It's possible then, that after reading the harrowing facts and
moronic opinions of those more conservatively leaning, lesbians of
the world had no choice but to escape from the dispute before their
heads explode with inequality-based rage.
And what better way to calm yourself down than by YouTubing the
soothing sounds of Engelbert Humperdinck crooning in earnest about
a much less politically charged bird, one free of any prejudice -
in fact one on our team! - flying away from all this bigotry, over
rocks and trees and sand, soaring over cliffs and gently floating
down to land.
Ah, that's better. Scroll down to listen to The Hump!
