Picture yourself in this situation - you're a straight
woman in a club and a guy begins flirting with you. Before you know
it, you're being asked if you'd like to join him in his bed/in a
car/in a dark alleyway for something other than polite
conversation. Now, you have a few options: you either accept this
exciting opportunity or you down your drink and run as fast as
possible back to your friends
Now imagine yourself in this situation - you're a gay
woman in a straight club with your girlfriend, a straight man comes
up to you and begins flirting, again, before you know it you're
being invited to accompany him to the aforementioned places. It is
now that you state to him that you are
actually a lesbian and that the woman
standing next to you is actually your
girlfriend - not surprising really, seeing as she's had her arm
around your waist for the past 15 minutes.
I've found myself in this situation many times and, being
a lesbian, have found the responses from these men to be, in the
nicest way possible… unsatisfactory: "But you don't look like
lesbians" is the most common one we get, fair enough, you've been
fed the media stereotypes of what a lesbian "is" for years, so I'll
give you that one. But there is one inexcusable comment that my
girlfriend and I have received many, many times, much to our
delight (HA!):
"CAN I JOIN IN??"
Sorry, what? This either suggests that some men cannot
understand plain English:
"Lesbian (adjective):
of, pertaining to, or characteristic of
female homosexuality" ie: we are women, who like
women.
Or it suggests that some men are just plain rude. You
wouldn't walk up to a hot girl in a club who has her
boyfriend standing next to her and ask
if you can join in, would you? No, because you'd be asking for a
punch in the face or a kick in the groin from the irate
boyfriend! So tell me, why do these men think that it is
appropriate to say this to lesbians? I have come up with three
possible reasons. Men (if you happen to be reading), take
notes:
1. Sex toys
- ok, they look like your manhood, but the point is they aren't
your manhood: we don't use sex toys as a replacement penis. We
can't help that they look like that; it's just what fits you know,
up there. As a lesbian comedian once said, "It's not that we
dislike penises, we just don't like them on men".
2. Lesbian
porn - produced by men, directed by men and made for men. Men feel
like they've been allowed access to "lesbian" bedroom activities
and they want to see this "real" lesbian sex in real
life.
3.
Curiosity - men can't imagine what lesbians do in bed without
a penis. Think about it, show a little imagination.
No. Just, no. Boys, men, I urge you to leave us be, you
have no chance. Your fantasy will never happen, where
lesbians are concerned anyway. We don't want or need three people
in our bed - unless it's a cat, there's always room for a
cat.
