NOT LIKE A VIRGIN AT ALL
Madonna's been at the girls again. What's that you say, Madge has
a new album coming out? Well, what a surprise! And a huge comeback
planned for the spring? Blow me down! No surprise then to hear that
Mother Pop whacked a smacker on Little Miss Nicki Minaj, who
couldn't wait to express herself via twitter. Lookee here: 'OH MY
f'ingggg Gahhhh!!!!! MADONNA jus kissed me!!!!! On the lips!!!!!!!
It felt sooooo good. Soooo soft!!!! *passes out* aaahhhhh!!!!!!!!!'
Seems Madge has a thing for female rappers these days, as Brit
spitter MIA has been tweeting about HRH too: 'Madonna killed it! A
legend! said she'd have me, i said ill have her too, we had a 3sum
M.N.M. MEGAFORCE @TheMegaforce thanku,' Ah, the grandiloquence of
yoof. But what were all these ladies up to I here you ask? Sorry to
disappoint, but this wasn't a drug-fuelled LA sauna party, but
actually the set of Madonna's new video, for upcoming single Give
Me All Your Love. Come to think of it, that doesn't rule out a
sauna party. Maybe it's unfair to call Madge a fake lez - after
all, who are we to say what excites Madonna sexually? It's just
that all this same-sex-snogging seems so… sensational. You didn't
see her smooching young Justin Timberlake when they collaborated
last year, eh? Nor when she did that really crap song with Ricky
Martin, that one no one remembers. And yet she did manage to plant
a big wet one on Britney Spears, a much publicised smackerooni
which, some say, marked a decline in the pop princess's fortunes.
It sounds like Madonna's video is going to be an attention-seeking,
smutty slab of titillation. I can't wait!
DOUBLE TAKE
How many effing Lisbeth Salanders are there? Lisbeth was first
brought to life by the wonderful Noomi Rapace in The Girl With The
Dragon Tattoo trilogy, a role which she totally owned. Now Rooney
Mara plays the androgynous heroine in a new Hollywood remake. (NB:
Don't go and see it: it won't be as good as the original.) Well, as
we clever girls have learned, all good things come in threes (ask
Madonna) and it seems our very own travel editor, Lotte Jeffs, has
been channelling Lisbeth too. Posing for the Evening Standard,
Lotte brought a much needed portion of lez to Londoners' journey
home last Friday. And how fabulous did she look? Seriously, we're
turning green here. Anyone would think she'd be satisfied with that
feel of Rihanna's baps a few weeks back, but it seems our Lotte
likes to keep busy. Here's what happened when she stepped out in
her Lisbeth-inspired get-up: "Suddenly everybody is staring. It's
embarrassing, momentarily, as the me who is desperate to please,
fit in, look serious and professional at all times squirms in this
f***-off leather ensemble. Then, as I meet their gaze, they look
away embarrassed and I feel more powerful than I ever have in a
suit. A pathway to the snacks counter clears for me. People
actually put down their plates and move away." Crikey. Sounds like
the perfect outfit to hit the January sales in.
This Is London
WALK OF SHAME
Finally, have you seen the Harvey Nick's advert with all the
drunken tarts stumbling home? Journalist and blogger Jane Fae
reckons it's sexist and snobby, but I have to disagree. Have I done
the walk of shame myself? Regularly. Did I find it harmless fun to
see it depicted on screen. Hell yeah. Is it a bit snobby? Probs. I
do get where Jane's coming from - she makes some valid points with
a good dash of humour - but I'm afraid it's a thumbs up to Harvey
Nicks from me. Perhaps it is all based on a double standard, but
there's something wonderfully, gloriously life-affirming walking
home in a crumpled dress showing too much bum, boob and beer stains
on the Number 45 bus at 7.30am on a Saturday morn. Indeed: it's
nothing less than a girl's right and privilege. Was that me you saw
on the 8.45 Midlands Mainline service from Birmingham to Nottingham
that dreadful Monday morning? I won't say. But I do have a message
for the walk of shame, the advertisers that glamorise it and all
the gals who do it: keep up the good work!
Jane
Fae's blog
See Harvey Nick's ad below
@ParisLees
