Is it just me or is the media trying to persuade us that Katy
Perry, Rihanna and Cheryl Cole are locked into some sort of
passionate musical threesome - the Rod, Jane and Freddy of their
They're everywhere at the moment. You can't turn on the telly
without seeing them cosying up on Graham Norton's couch; engaging
in a chaste peck so choreographed it would put Riverdance to shame.
Then there's all the teasing on Twitter. I wish they'd take it off
line. Get a room. You could all chip in. Premier Inn's got some
good deals on.
It seems that suggesting that a sidebar of straight superstars is
partial to a little lady garden makes them more desirable. It's as
if being super straight is considered too bland. They need some
'lesbian' to rub off on them and make them more interesting
Perhaps we shouldn't be surprised about the increase in
counterfeit lesbians, given that we are after all in a double dip
But are we really supposed to buy this little charade? Threesome
shmesome. Boresome would be a more appropriate description. The
whole thing has been engineered purely for the titillation of their
male fans. I'm sure they find it 'hot', but I find watching Katy
and Cheryl faux-flirting about as exciting as de-bobbling a
Seeing them together reminds me of being eight years old and
making my sister's Barbie and Sindy dolls kiss. I held one, and
turned the other 90 degrees in order to navigate around their
doll-boobs, but sadly there was no spark. These girls like Ken -
end of. Anyone with an ounce of nouse can see this.
At first I just ignored this little ménage á blah, but it's become
increasingly hard to escape it. Their obviously platonic threesome
is now officially tiresome. In a move that seems totally in line
with their insatiable Sapphic ambition they've finally gotten on MY
tits, and unlike Katy Perry I don't like it.
It just highlights the nonsensical way that the music business
seems to operate. Straight women are encouraged to play up their
attraction to each other to sell records, but lesbians and
bisexuals are told to hide their sexuality for fear that it will
kill their careers. It's rubbish.
I have nothing against these women as artists. My problem is that
their little lesbian love in leaves me feeling cheated - they're
the celebrity equivalent of being given a 'Mucci' bag Christmas.
The thought's there, but I want the real deal.