There is a flip side to snuggling.
How do I love thee snuggling? Let me count the ways: I'm all for a
bit of full frontal, I'm fond of a little spooning, and I love
cosying up 'in the nook'.
That said, I have found that snuggling is not without it's
challenges, or indeed it's politics.
Full frontal face-to-face snuggling, for example, is definitely
not for the germaphobic. It requires well practised synchronised
breathing lest you end up just recycling each others breath all
night - like the kalahari-dry air you breathe on airplanes.
Spooning is less 'in your face', but instead of germs it breeds
resentment. It's essentially an uneven nestle. Someone is always
left under-snuggled. The larger spoon is exposed to the elements,
and doesn't benefit from being tightly enveloped.
That's why, until recently, I believed that 'the nook' was the
best way to snuggle. You know 'the nook' - it's that glorious sweet
spot in between your girlfriend's chest and her arm. I like 'the
nook' because, unlike the other two snuggle positions, I can see my
girlfriend AND the television. It even has it's own built in
But my girlfriend and I have suddenly reached a snuggling impasse.
She is claiming she's got a snuggle deficit stretching back over
the last eight years; an unfilled cuddle quota. She wants to
redress the balance and be the snuglee for a change. Now when we
climb into bed there's a tussle - like two wasps fighting - for
I don't mind letting her in 'the nook' briefly, but unlike her,
I'm unable to fall asleep in that position. I have to be allowed to
sleep on my side unencumbered. In my 36 years on the planet I've
not mastered the art of sleeping on my back. I've tried, but it
feels unnatural. I feel vulnerable, like an upturned tortoise or
flipped over fly.
Tonight though, despite my plaintive reminders, my girlfriend has
fallen asleep on me. Her head is lodged like a boulder in my nook,
and I'm trapped; pinned to the bed. The more I wriggle to try to
free myself the worse it gets. I can feel the panic rising. I crane
to check the clock. It's only been 10 minutes. Great! I've got
another 7 hours 50 minutes to reflect on just how much I love