My issue with the PDA is that it's just so…public. I'm not even
talking about extreme 'get-a-room' exhibitionism, but just a little
hand holding, or kissing. I watch with envy the ease with which
other lesbian couples hold hands around Wholefoods, but when public
push comes to shove I seize up.
When I'm with my girlfriend in public I feel as if every little
gesture is amplified and sexualized. Even the most insignificant
exchange feels like a huge declaration of homosexuality. A quick
kiss, the removal of an errant eyelash, or even the ubiquitous hand
squeeze all feel a bit shouty.
When my girlfriend attempts a sortie on my person in public I find
ways to distract her. I'll spark up a new conversation, point at
something, or make a bathroom run. I can turn a romantic meal into
a West End farce (sadly minus the French maid's outfit).
But the truth is that all this distraction is becoming
exhausting.
This weekend as we walked home from the pub arms swinging back and
forth I knew that my girlfriend was preparing to catch hold of my
hand. Just. One. More. Swing. Sure enough as our hands came close
she made the grab. She got me!
Once I'd made the leap I actually began to enjoy it. It was quite
liberating. I was a natural. What had I been worrying about? No one
cares that we are two girls holding hands. No one is even looking.
This is great.
I was just getting the hang of a little public affection, when I
spotted an obstacle; a group of blokes drinking on the pavement
outside a pub. They were directly in our path. We'd have to walk
right through the middle of them to get home. This was a whole new
level. My hand tensed. I wanted to let go, but my girlfriend held
on tight.
I put my head down, took a deep breath, and braced myself for the
comments I felt sure would come. But there were no comments. The
gentlemen parted and allowed us through with no comment.
I was elated. Wow all this time I'd been so anxious and people
really don't care that we're lesbians.
At that moment I overheard one of the blokes say wistfully, "Ah
isn't that lovely. Can you imagine blokes doing that? Girls are so
much better at showing each other affection."
Oh brother.
