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COOKIES & PRIVACY POLICY

Why do straight girls pretend to be gay?

As if being a lesbian isn’t confusing enough, the frequent presence of lesbi-friends makes it harder for us…

Fran Hayden

Thu, 17 Jan 2013 12:33:50 GMT | Updated 1 years today

The straight female psyche perplexes me. Fact. I often find myself staring absently at a female friend as she does or says something bizarre, which I have to decipher and make sense of. I'm always left with a sense of bewilderment after these occurances. Some things are just beyond me; the thing that confuses me by far the most about straight girls is why they pretend to be gay. They only succeed in confusing themselves, us lesbians and the men around them - are they lesbi-friends, or lesbians?

 

Imagine this - you're in a club with your friends, having a drink. All of a sudden you notice a commotion in the corner, as the sea of testosterone parts before you, you see the object of their gaze. Two women, kissing! The men are salivating as the two girls begin groping one another. Then before it gets too intense, the two girls pull apart, one swipes the back of her hand over her mouth and they begin to laugh.

 

What do you think…? No, I don't know, either. My mind would be analysing every aspect of these two girls to try and work out if they were gay or not: fingernails, haircut, clothes, make up, shoes, attitude. But this is a dead end, surely? The lesbian "look" has become an eclectic thing, there isn't one "look" anymore that screams lesbian, so where does that leave you? Unsure, you turn back to your friends and begin analysing the girls' behaviour:

 

"They're doing it for attention."

 

This has long been the answer as to why straight girls pretend to be lesbians. I guess it's mostly true: women know that men love lesbians, therefore, what would be the best way to gain male attention? Be a "lesbian", of course (but you might go home with one of these men at the end of the night).

 

This is potentially threatening for real lesbians though, as I mentioned in  another article, men seem to think it's ok to approach lesbians and proposition them - this may be one of the reasons why men think this is ok. If these "lesbians" are kissing their female friends, yet still going home with men, well… it offers false hope to men and results in the tasteless questions directed at lesbians.

 

"They're bi-curious!"

 

Again, this may be true. We all had to start somewhere, right? And I suppose if someone were to question the "lesbians" about their public kiss, they could pass it off as an attention-seeking thing, rather than the fact they actually [italics] wanted [close italics] to get down and dirty with their BFF. Come out, already!

 

"They're protecting themselves from the predatory men…"

 

Ok, a long shot, but it can be validated. A lot of straight women like to go out in clubs with their friends for a dance/drink/gossip and don't want to be bothered by a hungry pack of men… therefore, the only "logical" thing they can do is… pretend to be a lesbian! In hindsight, this probably isn't the best thing to do in order to screen yourself from the male gaze - in fact, it's probably the worst. We lesbians know that simply by stating you're a lesbian certainly isn't enough to keep the men away. Well done for trying though.

 

Straight girls, I beg you, please stop pretending to be gay. Look at it like this… if we saw you copping off with another girl and wanted to try our luck with you, what would happen? If we approached you and asked if you wanted a drink, chat, or dance, only to be told that you're straight, how would we feel? You'd be an impostor in our midst. C'mon, give a girl a break!

 

 

 

 

 

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