The straight female psyche perplexes me. Fact. I often find
myself staring absently at a female friend as she does or says
something bizarre, which I have to decipher and make sense of. I'm
always left with a sense of bewilderment after these occurances.
Some things are just beyond me; the thing that confuses me by far
the most about straight girls is why they pretend to be gay. They
only succeed in confusing themselves, us lesbians and the men
around them - are they lesbi-friends, or lesbians?
Imagine this - you're in a club with your friends, having a
drink. All of a sudden you notice a commotion in the corner, as the
sea of testosterone parts before you, you see the object of their
gaze. Two women, kissing! The men are salivating as the two girls
begin groping one another. Then before it gets too intense, the two
girls pull apart, one swipes the back of her hand over her mouth
and they begin to laugh.
What do you think…? No, I don't know, either. My mind would be
analysing every aspect of these two girls to try and work out if
they were gay or not: fingernails, haircut, clothes, make up,
shoes, attitude. But this is a dead end, surely? The lesbian "look"
has become an eclectic thing, there isn't one "look" anymore that
screams lesbian, so where does that leave you? Unsure, you turn
back to your friends and begin analysing the girls' behaviour:
"They're doing it for attention."
This has long been the answer as to why straight girls pretend
to be lesbians. I guess it's mostly true: women know that men love
lesbians, therefore, what would be the best way to gain male
attention? Be a "lesbian", of course (but you might go home with
one of these men at the end of the night).
This is potentially threatening for real lesbians though, as I
mentioned in another
article, men seem to think it's ok to approach lesbians and
proposition them - this may be one of the reasons why men think
this is ok. If these "lesbians" are kissing their female friends,
yet still going home with men, well… it offers false hope to men
and results in the tasteless questions directed at lesbians.
Again, this may be true. We all had to start somewhere, right?
And I suppose if someone were to question the "lesbians" about
their public kiss, they could pass it off as an attention-seeking
thing, rather than the fact they actually [italics] wanted [close
italics] to get down and dirty with their BFF. Come out,
"They're protecting themselves from the predatory
Ok, a long shot, but it can be validated. A lot of straight
women like to go out in clubs with their friends for a
dance/drink/gossip and don't want to be bothered by a hungry pack
of men… therefore, the only "logical" thing they can do is… pretend
to be a lesbian! In hindsight, this probably isn't the best thing
to do in order to screen yourself from the male gaze - in fact,
it's probably the worst. We lesbians know that simply by stating
you're a lesbian certainly isn't enough to keep the men away. Well
done for trying though.
Straight girls, I beg you, please stop pretending to be gay.
Look at it like this… if we saw you copping off with another girl
and wanted to try our luck with you, what would happen? If we
approached you and asked if you wanted a drink, chat, or dance,
only to be told that you're straight, how would we feel? You'd be
an impostor in our midst. C'mon, give a girl a break!