Ah Valentines Day. The day of love, the day of romance and the
day of expensive gifts that have to match up to unspoken
expectations. It's the day that couples have strawberries and
champagne as if those are sensible food groups and single people
have milkybars and vodka. No, just me?
I think the single people tend not to like Valentine's day much
because it reminds them that they are still living alone or at best
surrounded by cats. But there are so many reasons why it's better
to be single today.
1. There's no awkward present buying. The teddies clutching a
fluffy heart, the fluffy cards spouting words of endearment and
lust, the lusty lip shaped cushion covered in glitter and glitter
coated I heart you banner. Chocolates and flowers, chocolate
flowers and florets of chocolate. No one really wants them and most
gifts will end up stuffed in the back of a drawer next to the spare
lightbulbs and cellotape.
2. You won't have to smile through gritted teeth when you get
one of the above presents or anything crotchless that you might
3. No panic buying of the awkward presents when it's suddenly the
thirteenth and you end up queuing in Clintons with the other people
who have forgotten and the desperate ones who plan to ply the ones
they fancy with rose petals until they agree to date them. Such is
the desperate world of love.
4. Not having to dig around in the back of your underwear drawer
for those 'special' knickers made from itchy lace and rosebuds or
your sexy boxers that tug in all the wrong places.
5. You can still have chocolates for your own Valentine's
breakfast and you don't need to worry about being bloated and
fitting in to said underwear later. It doesn't matter if you put on
your giraffe onesie, your fleecy socks and your beige
6. You can go pubbing and clubbing with your friends, drink
Sambuca until you're full and then go out on the pull. You won't be
sitting in some stilted restaurant paying eighteen pounds ten for a
bowl of soup trying to talk to your woman through the streams of
red and pink tissue paper hanging from the ceiling.
7. You can watch the entire box set of your favourite series
because you've got the time to do it. Who doesn't want to rewind
Bette getting into the pool or Alice and Dana eating whipped cream
next to the fridge. And invite your friends Ben and Jerry to the
party along with all their sugary goodness.
8. Cookie dough icecream always tastes better when you don't have
to share it.
9. You can cook a wonderful meal for yourself and not have to
worry about what anyone else likes or doesn't like. This is all
about your roast dinner with extra cranberry sauce and a side of
10. As all websites and magazines say, "You can spend some quality
time with the smartest, most beautiful, amazing person you know."
Yes, your cat.