It seems there's a lot of anger floating around in bi space at
the moment. Recent debates over Jessie J's sexuality have left many
bi women feeling bruised at the claim that her bisexuality was an
invention to cover up her lesbianism, and Jessie's angry denial was
interpreted by some lesbians as homophobic. The argument raged over
social media, reviving ancient debates on bisexuality as privilege,
as deception, and as titillation - and when bi people complained
that these assumptions were biphobic, they were accused of a victim
mentality.
Sound familiar? Here's more: Staceyann Chin's recent piece for the
Guardian, Why Chasing Straight Women Still Thrills Me,
characterised the "not-so-straight", the "almost-gay", as
frustratingly unable to commit, terrible in bed, selfish and
unaware of the politics of our choices. Chin spoke of the "average
lesbian gathering" where conversation invariably turns to the
trauma done to dykes by women "unwilling to make the dive into
lesbian sexuality permanent", as though women who sleep with women
are morally obliged to continue - as though bisexuality is still,
somehow, disloyal.
I decide to hold a virtual gathering of my own, a sort of angry
online dinner party. My friend Georgina sighs: "I just felt really
fatigued when I read that. We've had this so many times; the
surprise is gone; it's just bullshit that this continues. It's
exhausting: really, again?"
Becky agrees. "I'm getting to the point where I am tired of having
any of those discussions. 'Am I gay enough?' - I'm not gay, I'm bi!
'How many girlfriends have you had?' - none of your damn
business!"
Lola sees the context of the piece as important. "[Chin] talked
about her background in Jamaica, and the homophobia there, and how
that led to her being so interested in being with women who hadn't
been with women before. I get that - I'm from a similar background,
where most women are on the downlow to be safe - I get that that's
painful. But she didn't even use the word bisexual. She just spoke
about these mysterious women who aren't straight, and aren't gay,
and are terrible in every possible way, and everyone's supposed to
fill in the blanks. Eight letters, begins with B, bitch!" She
laughs, and then we both do. We're laughing at how unsisterly we're
being, getting angry about this.
To read the rest of this feature, get a hold of a copy of
DIVA's August 2012 issue, on sale from 5 July.
Where to find DIVA near you
Buy your copy at divadirect.co.uk
