My girlfriend and I have been together for five years. Neither
of us has ever slept with anyone else but I don't consider this to
be a problem. I think I'm the luckiest girl in the world. When it
comes to our sex life I've never doubted we are the hottest couple
EVER, that is until last week. While performing the morning coffee
ritual with a work colleague somehow we got around to the
discussion of sex, as you do, and I shared about my pre-girlf
lesbian virginity. To which my horrified colleague retorted: "Wow,
how do you know if you're good in bed? You've only ever done it
with one person?"
Apart from feeling affronted, her further questioning of my
sexual prowess with the line, "You know, practice makes
perfect", made me start obsessively questioning my entire form and
technique. How do I know if I'm good? Here I am, thinking I'm
having the best sex a girl can have and I could be utterly rubbish.
Those moans of pleasure my girlfriend makes could actually be faked
to spare my feelings. Does she burrow her head into my chest not
because she's experiencing intense pleasure but to stifle the
laughter? Does she dig her nails into my back not out of hungry
desire but to stop herself from falling asleep? There might be a
new, amazing, mind-blowing sexual move I could be performing which
my girlfriend is missing out on because I just haven't got "the
knowledge". What I think is sensual and erotic is actually tame and
boring. Instead of going on the DIVADirect website to source my
regular fix of funky fashion and DVDS;I should be searching for
erotic guides, sex toys, sensual underwear - Anything that would
improve my sexual prowess. Oh my god, I'm rubbish in bed!
The thing is, it's never felt like it's crap. Not once; not even
for a second, so I must be doing something right. It may not be
like it is in the movies, all slow-mo and intricately
choreographed; my body is not a size zero and more often than not
it has hairs in unlikely places or does things I don't wish it to
do (don't ask me about the Coke incident - note to self; never
drink a can of highly carbonated liquid just before you plan an
intimate snogging session. I was lucky to have been with my
girlfriend long enough for her not to immediately dump me for
burping in her mouth… repeatedly). Sometimes we accidentally bump
noses or bite each others' lips; on occasions we end up a
laughing, wet, hot jumble of arms, legs and bed sheets on the
floor - the result of erotic massages evolving into hysteria as we
end up unintentionally tickling each other. The thing is, my
girlfriend has always felt like home to me; it's knowing that
whatever happens in that moment, everything is going to be alright.
We can be totally naked and open and safe. Free to do whatever
works for us; French maid role-play style, all out in the
shower, maybe nice and slow on the sofa, anything our heart
desires. So I've come to the realization, it doesn't matter how
many or how few people you've slept with or even what you do
together; you know you're both going to love it and each other. If
that's not good sex, I don't know what is.
