Remember how I said I wish I was gay? Apparently I'm not
the only one. Emily
Hartridge, a presenter for the Huffington Post, has put forward
her own unique argument for girls getting it on with other girls
(scroll down for the video). The plot twist: she's
straight.
"I just think the world would be a happier and less stressful
place if women went out with women," says Hartridge in the clip.
The 28-year-old Londoner is best known for her interview with
Russell Brand earlier this year, in which the 'Arthur' star asked
for her phone number.
Her latest video 'I wish I was a lesbian.....10 Reasons Why' is
part of a YouTube series with almost 12,000 subscribers. With the
help of her sister, she highlights the reasons why she'd "rather go
out with a woman" in a succinct ten-point list. Let's take a
look.
1. Women understand each other, they watch the same
television programmes.
Hartridge gives 'Keeping Up With the Kardashians', 'Sex & The
City', 'Jersey Shore' and 'Geordie Shore' as examples. I think I'll
pass thanks - show me an 'L Word' box set and I'm all yours,
though.
2. Being with a woman means an end to those awkward
conversations about periods.
Just because we all have them doesn't mean we share tampons or
anything, Hartridge.
3. She'd know what to do in the bedroom because she's been
"practicing on herself for a few years."
Have you ever tried to shave an undercut into your own hair using
just the reflection in your mirror? No? Let me put it this way:
just because it 'looks the same' doesn't mean you won't end up
making a terrifying, horrific mess of things.
4. Unlike men, women like to actually talk about their
feelings.
Yeah but not as much as we like to giggle and braid the manes of
unicorns.
5. Women can answer the question "Do I look fat?"
correctly.
There are no bad answers, only bad questions. I think the LGBT
community is a lot more likely to celebrate larger ladies. Remember
DIVA's fat issue? Big is beautiful, hon.
6. There are hot women everywhere.
Okay, I can't actually refute this one.
7. Women are huggers, there's nothing quite like a good
old hug.
Hartridge, you're actually starting to make sense.
8. The beauty of same-sex relationship is that you can
choose between having a vagina or a penis.
Okay. Nope. You lost me again.
9. You don't have to worry about hiding the condom in the
morning.
This is true. But then again, you've got the whole 'wet patch'
thing to navigate. Good luck with that.
10. If you break up you're pretty much guaranteed a new
best friend.
The ex factor is probably quite a tempting reason to turn for a
straight girl. But what you might not understand that it's probably
more to do with the fact that there are only twelve lesbian women
in any given town. Fact.
A lot of gay and bi girls stay lesbros after their breakups
because we know we're just going to stalk each other on Tumblr and
Facebook anyway - we might as well be candid about it.
Besides, it takes a lot of energy to make a whole new BFF, and
we need all our energy for fisting and scissoring and earwigging.
(Just kidding, I made that last one up.)
When the
Daily Mail likes you, you know you're doing something wrong.
The reality of it is that same-sex relationships are as nuanced and
variable as the ones Hartridge is used to (although if her
impressions of men are based on real-life experiences than I weep
for the species).
But you never know. Hartridge has told the
Huffington Post that she doesn't fancy Russell Brand, although
she thinks "Katy [Perry]'s absolutely gorgeous."
You know what song Katy Perry is famous for, right Emily?
Watch Emily Hartridge's video 'I wish I was a lesbian.....10
Reasons Why' below.
