We are engaged and have told our families that we want to get
married, which has led to more negative responses from them. No
surprise there: this has been the norm ever since our stop-go
coming out and remains our biggest challenge, an altercation we
simply cannot win. The fight for equality with any heterosexual
couple is reaching its climax, and we mean business! How can family
members possibly understand our love for one another and stop
judging us when not even the government of our country, where we
have lived our whole lives, is wholeheartedly committed to
equal marriage? In effect, it makes our situation even more painful
and harder to defend. Trouble is, that's all we do now - constantly
shield who we are, how we live, and who we love. We hear that
same-sex couples are unnatural, but equally it is immoral for
people to bully, and discriminate against, those who love someone
of the same sex. To love and wish to belong - these are the most
natural desires in the world. It seems that hatred motivates
and rules the narrow-minded. Victimisation is abuse, and those on
the receiving end suffer more damage than those who cast the stones
could imagine.
The smiles and flow of champagne reaction has been replaced by
words of discouragement. 'If you're happy, we're happy!' is a line
regularly employed whilst congratulations do not make an
appearance. Will we get our chin-chin from cut crystal or will we
be sipping the sanctimonious words of some relatives? We have to
surround ourselves with like-minded people and share our joy with
those who understand our life values. Even the most established and
confident of women can be confused... how can we not question our
own beliefs when the very people whose blood we share question our
identity and decisions merely because the person with whom we want
to spend the rest of our lives is the same sex?!
We have never expected material things but we do expect respect.
We have been brought up to believe that family is inclusive, that
family is with you every step of the way, that family has no end.
Unfortunately these precepts are easily abandoned when the going
gets tough.
As we understand it, the UK coalition government intends that
any legislative changes necessary to implement equal civil marriage
for same-sex couples will have been made before the next general
election, due in 2015. Whether we can trust this process is another
matter, especially given this government's habit of giving voice to
opponents of equality.
Opinion polls show increasing levels of tolerance and support
from the wider population.
Why should we have to prove that we are as worthy as any other
couple to embark upon a loving, shared, prosperous life together?
We ask ourselves why we should feel compelled to retaliate against
such prejudice? On looking at society's stereotypes of the modern
lesbian, even we question our place. When the UK government is so
slow to act on inclusion, how can we expect others to
empathise?
If we don't all pull together now, then our voices will not be
heard. There's more to uniting than just paying lip service. We
have been suffering in silence for too long. If the government
thinks that we will all wait patiently until nothing is done, they
clearly haven't been dealing with the right people. We will NOT be
waiting forever and we will NOT be forced to marry in another
country because our own cannot take the appropriate action. We are
personally not engaged to be civil-partnered; we are engaged to be
married.
To have the legal right to a civil partnership is certainly a
step in the right direction, but we haven't made it to the altar
yet! The government proposals for 2015 address civil marriage only,
but why shouldn't we have the same entitlement as heterosexual
couples to marry in church? This is what personally hurts the most:
we both believe in god and maintain a strong belief in our faith
and religion, but our respective churches frown on us. Some
Christian churches display most un-Christian attitudes, appearing
to forget Jesus' command that we should all love one another as he
loved us. Some heterosexual couples who marry in church have not
even been baptised, have no faith and yet see fit to hold
their marriage ceremony there simply 'FOR SHOW'. Why is this
not frowned upon?
We're more than ready to throw on the gear and fight a full
equality campaign. We, meaning all of the LGBT communities, need to
engage in the struggle and not shy away from the facts of the
situation. We are not defeatist types and it's now or never. We
will no longer be rejected, we deserve and demand to be
accepted.
We have set up a petition, addressed to David Cameron, calling
for the legalisation of same-sex marriage in the UK. Please follow
the link at the end of this article and sign it. Show your support
for our cause. We are not just a label and are more than our
stereotypes. We are human too and we bleed the same blood as every
other. We need everyone who believes in justice and equality to
stand up and fight. We will not just lie down and be walked all
over. It really is time to make a change. STAMP OUT DISCRIMINATION
- MAKE US ONE EQUAL NATION.
Lots of love, after all, it's all it should be about.
Stella and Lucy
www.change.org/en-GB/petitions/mrs-mrs-campaign
