Sex. It's impossible to escape it.
Whilst taking a stimulating stroll through the Marais (the Soho
of Paris) this week, my canine life-partner Vesta must have felt
the urge, her wandering eye taking me off-route and accidentally
right past my favorite shop for girls. (It was the dog, I swear. I
had nothing to do with it.) And despite my best efforts to avert my
gaze from the fluorescent pink silicone goodness, a sensual voice
called out to me…"Ma petite anglaise, Gemma!"
It was too late. My legs trembled and buckled beneath me. My
pulse began racing. I had been ensnared.
The gorgeous and fabulously French owners of the Dollshouse: Jeux de Filles, the
sexiest sex shop in Paris, proceeded to proposition me.
No, not like that.
A sex column, in French. With accompanying short fiction, should
the mood take me.
"Er, hum, well. I'm maybe not the best person to ask right
now," I blundered, with a furtive peek at my current life-partner,
with whom I enjoy a blissfully peaceful relationship based on
mutual respect and profound understanding. (A relationship needless
to say, which will remain entirely platonic. Oh, ok, first base,
"Zis 'iz nonsense. You are more 'zan capable, 'ow do you
say, of getting down and dusty. Besides it might 'elp you to get
out a bit more," was the reply, accompanied by a suspicious glance
But where to start? Good god! (Or should I say gode,
which means dildo in French.) Does Google Translate have an X-rated
add-on I can download? What is the French for leather corset
strap-on harness? I don't like using the C-word in English, would
changing languages make it easier on the tongue?
First stop, bookshop. I'm going to need a new dictionary. Le
sexe sounds so much better in French…
Book hotels in Paris at hotelshopuk.com.