"I can't chat people up," says Tess, bemoaning her inability to
flirt with women in episode one of lesbian TV drama Lip Service: "I
do what most lesbians do. Stare at women hungrily and pray someone
else will make the fi rst move." I for one know how she feels. And
the majority of women I spoke to for this article said the same -
when it comes to the fine art of flirting, we're pretty coy and
clueless.
So why do we struggle? Perhaps it's because fl irting between
women is often very subtle and hard to define. We're generally more
emotionally interactive and affectionate with each other than we
are with men. And most flirtatious indicators, like jokey banter,
smiling a lot and being tactile could also be signs of
friendliness. "It's quite hard to pin down when someone's fl irting
with you," says bisexual Leah. "Often, I'll get a sense that
there's chemistry and there's a connection. It's just this sort of
feeling. You can't really quantify it." Extended eye-contact is a
big part of this intangible chemistry. "There's a subtlety in how
you look at someone," says lesbian Hilla. "It's just this look that
I can't really describe."
Flirting between women is also far more subtle and hard to read
than it is with men. Men are more likely to make it obvious by
pushing at the boundaries with cheek and playful banter and by
checking you out physically. "I fi nd it easier to fl irt with
boys, they're simpler to work out", says Emma, a 28-year-old
bisexual from Manchester. "There's not too much guess-work involved
and you know whether they fancy you or not." We women are generally
more enigmatic, and although this can be frustrating, it's
sometimes more seductive. "Flirting with women can be a lot
sexier," admits Emma. "It's easier to play mind games and never
know quite where you stand."
READ
THE REST IN THIS MONTH'S DIVA MAGAZINE
