The old arse-wart, "But how do lesbians have sex?" is a question
posed by many an ignorant heteronormative buffoon. The question
relies on the presumption that there is only one kind of sex -
penetrative. With a penis.
This is, of course, absurd. And it is something the panellists of
the FPA debate, 'Do We Live In A Sexualised Society?' pick up on
instantly, by tearing apart the very term 'sexualised'. "What does
it mean?" questions the first speaker, Feona Attwood, Professor of
Sex, Communications and Culture.
Feminist activist and lecturer Julia Long adds that to say that
something is sexualised means we all share a common understanding
of the word 'sex' - "But what is sex?" Julia Long suggests that the
'pornification' of society-where increasingly misogynistic porn
encroaches on the mainstream-results in a condition where the
accepted public ideal of sex becomes what is depicted in
pornography - heteronormative and all about the man's dominance and
pleasure.
This is where Kathryn Hoyle, founder and MD of Sh! Women's Erotic
Emporium, chimes in. As someone whose professional life consists of
helping women be comfortable with and experience their sexuality
and sexual desires, she's here to talk about a woman's sexual
pleasure. Vibrators were invented by the Victorians, she informs
us. They were designed as a tool to enable doctors to "cure" women
of hysteria - "strangely, they couldn't be cured…" she winks
cheekily.
But pornography ignores women's pleasure. It was only late in 2009
that the British board of Film Classification overturned the
longstanding ban on female ejaculation, Kathryn informs a surprised
audience. And misogynistic, phallocentric porn is becoming
increasingly popular-"it's a $97 billion industry"-and extreme, a
worried Julia recounts angrily. "Most people in the industry will
agree that it has become increasingly misogynistic and violent."
This, of course, has several social ramifications - sexual and
domestic abuse, violence against women, and all manners of
objectification.
The proliferation of porn, argues Julia, has a correlation with
the sharp increase in breast implants and labiaplasty over recent
years. More and more women are imitating the aesthetics of porn
films; "vajazzling," Julia almost spits with horror and disgust -
it's the ludicrous practice of girls removing their public hair and
then tacking on diamantes, she explains as the audience-most likely
filled with non-vajazzlers-scoff in unison.
But Feona disagrees - she does not see these things as a big
problem. "How many of you encountered someone with breast implants
on your way here?" she asks. "I think there's a tendency to get
carried away," she explains. The media likes to spin things out to
their extremes and make labiaplasty seem like an epidemic, she
explains, when really only a small minority are doing it. "Daily
Mail, innit?" suggests Kathryn, on the sensationalism around issues
related to sex.
While the panellists disagreed on subtle issues, the underlying
sentiment of the night was founded in equality, liberalism, human
rights and happiness. Perhaps the most poignant words came from
Kathryn, who explained simply, "sexuality is an insecure and
vulnerable space." Adding to this, Julia concluded passionately -
"sex can be the most wonderful thing, but it can also be the most
horrific thing in the world."
