You've been a lesbian for 10+ years; you're a woman's woman,
right? Right. Yet you can't help thinking about that one guy.
So you're sitting there half-engaged in a film and as the main
character turns around your tummy unwittingly flutters. The dark
hair falling across equally dark eyes, a hint of mischievousness
and mystery glinting in their depth and the slight up-quirk at the
edge of their lips causes your pupils to dilate and an increased
heart rate. Then they begin to speak. The hum of their voice
reaches your ears and you're thrown out of your romantic reverie
and back to reality. This character is a man. This fazes you, yet
you can't stop staring. God, what is happening - you only ever
react like this when Shane swaggers on screen. And before you know
you're in the midst of a full-blown lesbian man crush.
Before anyone says it, yes, that does mean you're still a
lesbian. My girlfriend has a man crush on Tom Hardy and I, myself,
have a man crush on Johnny Depp. It's nothing to do with wanting to
sleep with him (eww), I admire him, he's an incredible actor, but
there's something about the way he holds himself, his attitude and
his eyes that intrigue me. I think it's something to do with his
unconventional masculinity too, give him dreadlocks and a dodgy
London accent and I'm there - tummy flutters n'all. But like I
said, the thought of sleeping with him (or any man) completely
turns me off, I'm a woman's woman. So why do we lesbians get man
crushes? And before you say you don't, you're lying (c'mon, even
Jane Lynch has revealed she has a crush on Russell Brand).
When speaking to my lesbi-friends about man crushes we devised a
list of our man crushes, these included Johnny Depp, Jared Leto,
Gerard Butler, Tom Hardy and Kevin Spacey (??) We were all adamant
that while most lesbians have man crushes, celebrity or not, many
have no intention of sleeping with any man. Through our discussion
we also tried to reason with ourselves (as any lesbi-loving woman
would) as to why we have man crushes and we came up with this: Do
we crush on them, admire them, or want to be them? For me, these
are perfectly justifiable questions to explain our man crushes. I
admire Mr Depp greatly, I think that what he does as an actor is
incredible and I definitely don't want to be him, so I just think
that my respect for him combined with his aesthetically pleasing
features just tick my boxes for "things I find attractive".
The men that we lesbos crush on can be divided into four
categories (these can, of course, overlap):
- 1. When the man in question looks like a soft butch - a young
Brad Pitt or Justin Bieber, for example.
- 2. The artistic/sensitive type - Johnny Depp or Noel
- When the man in question has feminine features - Zac Efron,
Johnny Depp or Justin Bieber.
- 3. The What? Why? That's a weird man crush - Kevin Spacey.
It's a completely innocent thing, having a man crush. Whether
you were expecting it or not, you can't help the way your mind (or
body) reacts to a person. What is your choice though, is if you
decide to act upon these minute feelings. Although, I am quite glad
that my man crush happened assign itself to Johnny Depp - he's
hardly repulsive is he? One of my friends openly declared that she
has a man crush on Rupert Grint. I mean, what's that all
Photo (via Wikimedia) by Georges Biard