It's That Day Again. But are you relishing the opportunity to
shower your beloved with rose-petals and wine (perhaps not
literally), or does your heart sink as the whole world goes into
romantic overdrive?
(Maybe not the whole world, actually. I'm not convinced that
Valentine's Day is big in Nepal, for example. Hey, that's a great
holiday plan for everyone who comes out in a rash at the sight of a
heart-shaped candle. Start saving for 2013, folks!)
Of course, there are strong arguments for both sides in this
debate.
The lovers contend that Valentine's is a wonderful, romantic day
for celebrating love (if you're coupled up) and a fun chance to
inform the object of your affections that they have an admirer in a
non-stalky way (if you're not). Which other day in the entire
calendar offers such possibilities for passion and pampering,
mystery and intrigue? What's not to love?
The haters tend towards the opinion that Valentine's Day has
been hijacked by commerce in a cold-hearted bid to make money from
our insecurities. If you're in a relationship, there isn't really
the option to ignore 14 Feb, is there? And if you're not, it's a
feel-bad moment in the making, as the postie passes by without
depositing so much as a note to say the cat's jabs are due.
Hmm. Maybe there's a middle way. As lesbians and bi women, we
are defined by who we love. So why don't we take the opportunity to
show each other a bit of love today?
Some of the sweetest and most meaningful Valentine's greetings
I've ever received have come from my friends. Don't have a
sweetheart? Send your best friend a message, thanking her for all
the support she's given you over the years. (Like the six hours she
spent listening to you cry down your phone after the "love of your
life" walked out last, er, Valentine's Day.)
In fact, why draw the line at your best friend? Let's spread it
around. No one should feel lonely or unloved on the day that love
rules. I'll be making sure every lesbian in my life knows I care
about her today. (The next issue of the magazine may be slightly
delayed, but what the hell! Love comes first on 14 Feb.)
Thankfully, this won't involve a massive bill for stamps (and
anyway, I've missed the post). There are so many ways to say "I
love you" in the 21st century. Text message, tweet,
email, e-card…*
Because when it comes down to it, while passion and romance are
special and great, it's the everyday love provided by loyal
friends, old and new, that needs celebrating a bit. And if this
isn't a good day to do it, I don't know what is.
* Check out the "she-cards" at www.grrl2grrl.com, which
includes the one shown top right.
