DO make an effort
It's a given. Sometimes we just can't be arsed to get dressed up
and make polite conversation ensuring to nod and laugh at the
appropriate times. Sometimes a mug of Cadbury's hot chocolate, your
favourite pyjamas and a marathon of Gavin and Stacey is much more
appealing. However, sulking in the corner at the Christmas do is
just as bad, if not worse than not going at all. I mean, look at
Sally who works in reception Monday to Wednesday. She's having a
great time. Don't be labelled the office Scrooge. No one likes a
spoilsport.
DON'T go overboard on the pinot and sherry
We've all done it at some point. If anything, some might call it
a learning curve or a mere slice of character building, but it
doesn't have to be at the Christmas party. Now, I like a good time
as much as the next person in the queue at Bargain Booze, but it's
living with the consequences of lurching up to the acting managing
director and telling him that he's ok for a spotty bloke, and then
spending the remainder of the evening curled up under a table
talking to a tin of Quality Streets.
DON'T even think about sex
No, no, no. No. A drunken fumble with a colleague,
female or male, in the end cubicle, somehow supporting
yourselves against the back of the toilet and standing still like
statues and holding your breath every time someone comes in is
never a laugh. On re-entering the party, your face won't smoulder
with the words, "I've just had sex, and what?" Instead it will
scream uncontrollably, "I've just had sex. Oops. Where's the
nearest taxi rank?" Chances are you won't be able to look at the
your partner in crime for at least a month. Come on girls, say it
with me: Class.
DO tuck in!
Target that table which is laden with more party food and drink
than you can shake a stick at. Don't be embarrassed about taking a
selection of at least four sandwiches and a handful of crisps, then
eating a monster piece of chocolate log, to then go back for
another sarnie. It's okay, it's Christmas. and yes there's free
food even if there are strands of tinsel lurking in the potato
salad. You'd end up calling in at your local chippy on the way
home, anyway. Don't fight it.
DO stay off your social networks
We all use social networks to make people think we are high on
life. Perhaps re-think posting that picture of you and your
colleagues posing with traffic cones on your head as one member of
the party is passed out in the background. Or, tweeting "HAD a GR8
NITE @ THE WORK DO. WOOOOO IT'S CHRISTMAS. I AM DRUNK AND KAREN HAS
A NICE BUM. LOLOLOOL!!!! ;)" As unbelievably hilarious as this is,
and as much as you feel like the next Shakespeare as you type, by
the time you eventually delete it everyone will have seen it…
Everyone!
DO turn up the next day
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think your boss will quite
believe you if you ring up the following morning and claim that
your second cousin has had an accident involving a jet ski and a
killer whale and consequently a family emergency had to be called.
Be wise, be cool, and take a bucket to work.
Happy Christmas!
