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The Great Big Lesbian Dictionary

Ever been clam slammed while hitting on a stud? Decode lesbian lingo with DIVA’s handy lesbian lexicon

Fran Hayden

Thu, 10 Jan 2013 13:54:26 GMT | Updated 2 years today


Have you ever been clam shammed when hitting on a stud? Or do you know a hasbian who succumbed to the golden penis? What do these terms mean? The answers are here in The Great Big Lesbian Dictionary, the oracle of lesbian lingo.




A lesbian who is neither butch nor femme, but may appear as both. A gender fluid butterfly. Might also go by: gender fluid, gender queer.


Baby Dyke

A young, newbie lesbian - often accompanied by drama.



A person of the opposite sex who marries or dates a queer who is in the closet in order to hide their homosexuality.



A girl who will only engage in lesbian activities when under the influence. Often seen in television shows and often happens between close girl-friends.



A straight girl who wants to indulge her lesbian fantasies. (Occasionally, a lesbian who wants to indulge her hetero fantasies.)



A girl or guy who likes both sexes. Might also go by: Hovis (Best of Both).



A multitude of meanings - a boyish lesbian/a soft butch/an actual boy who associates with queer friends.



Someone who is submissive in bed.



A derogatory term for a straight person.



A really butch woman.



The most masculine of all butch lesbians.



A lesbian with masculine appearance. Can be identified by their short hair, shirts (w/ popped collar) and their "gentlemanly" manners.


Chapstick lesbian

An "in-betweeny" lesbian. Neither identifies as butch or femme, usually in between. A lesbian who wears chapstick, not lipstick. Might also go by: Stem.


Clam Slammed

An annoying experience to have - the lesbian example of cock blocking.



Queers who are not yet "out" are said to be "in the closet", hiding.


Coming out

To exit the closet and reveal your sexuality.



A super masculine lesbian often associated with trucks/heavy machinery/plaid shirts.


Drag King

A women who dresses to look like a man, often for performance. Think Ivan from The L Word.



Another word for lesbian - sometimes derogatory when used by straight people but reclaimed by the international Dyke March lesbian visibility movement.



A feminine lesbian. Identifying traits are often painted nails, make-up and "girly" clothes.



The phenomenon of sleeping with several (if not all) of the people in your friend circle. I.e. you've slept with your best friends ex, her ex-girlfriend and her current girlfriend. Often resulting in drama.



A female-to-male transsexual. May or may not have previously identified as a lesbian.



A habitat where the majority of people are queer - can be a club/pub/café, shops, a town/city e.g. Brighton. Often identified by rainbow flags adoring the area.



Gay + Radar. The intuitive ability to recognise if another person is gay or not.


Gender Queer

The limitless fluidity of gender. Feeling like you're both male and female, or indeed, neither. Might also go by: androgynous.


Golden Penis

Neanderthals who believe that they can cure a girl of her lesbianism with their golden penis.


Gold Star

A lesbian who has never had sexual relations with a man - rare, but it happens. (Controversial: implies a lesbian heirarchy of purity that is not borne out it actual life.)



A long-term lesbian who returns to Dicksville after being in Lesbo-Land for some time (often derogatory).



A woman who is sexually and emotionally attracted to other women.



The way in which the queer community accepts and includes everyone.


Lipstick Lesbian

A really, really, really feminine lesbian.


Lipstick Mafia

The lesbian equivalent of the "Uncle Sam" WW1 recruitment poster. They want you in their circle, and they've got your back.


Lone Star

Someone who has only slept with one person in their life.



Harmless but slightly creepy straight guy who thinks he is a lesbian. Often misunderstood.



A woman who maintains her heterosexual marriage while recognising that she is actually gay. (MARried But LEsbian.)



Male-to-female transsexual. Better known as trans woman. Or just woman. Trans women can be lesbians too.


The Muffia

They wear business suits, they have a lot of money and they make things happen. Think Bette from The L Word. Always intimidating, but very sexy.



When someone announces against your will that you are queer, they have outed you.



When a lesbian wears a strap-on under their clothes to give the impression that there is "something else" there. Socks can also be used.



The word used to refer to your significant other, may replace "girlfriend" as the relationship becomes more serious.


Pillow Princess

A lesbian who only likes to receive during sex, she never reciprocates.



An underage lesbian.



Being proud to be gay! Or, Gay Pride events, celebrations and parties! (Coined in the late 60s to challenge the notion that the natural response of queers to our sexuality should be shame.)



The once derogatory term to include all LGBTQQI people. Reclaimed in the 90s, both on the street and in academia.


Saturday Night Lesbian

A girl who is only gay at the weekends.



A fake lesbian. Someone who says they're a lesbian, but only seems to have sex with men.



What men think lesbians do in bed, what lesbians know we don't do in bed.


Soft butch

The soft butch is like a Crème Egg; they appear to have a hard exterior but are soft on the inside.


Sporty Dyke

Dress like sportswomen and often play sport. Think, Dana from The L Word.



A lesbian floating between the brackets of "stud" and "femme". Might also go by: chapstick lesbian.


Stone Butch

A lesbian who doesn't like to be touched in a sexual way, always preferring to give than receive. Often found with a "pillow princess".



A dominant lesbian, usually butch. (Also: black lesbian slang for butch.)



Someone that is dominant in bed.



A person who identifies as and desires to be the opposite sex.



A girl who will try anything once.


U-haul Lesbian

Often used in lesbian jokes, a U-Haul lesbian moves in with you pretty quickly. (From the American removals company.)



A code word for lesbian.


Non-kinky, non-risqué sex. Plain and simple intercourse.









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  • Heidi Margrethe Vistisen - Fri, 11 Jan 2013 12:00:05 GMT -

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    Don't forget Latebloomers, women who come out later in life and may or may not have been married. We're a growing phenomenom.