It's Saturday night; I'm 13 years old, and I'm watching a blonde
woman in her prime jog through Central Park in a black tracksuit
and red bandana. She stops to buy a hot dog, as the music reaches a
climax; "Da da da da. Da dada da da." I have a date with Cagney and
Lacey - well Cagney actually.
I. Loved. Christine Cagney. She was smart, yet free-spirited; she
was tough, yet feminine. She was straight, yet she never did find
the right man.
Mary-Beth who? Lacey could have been permanently locked in the
'Jane' at the 14th Precinct for all I cared; it was Cagney I
couldn't resist. Maybe it was those Plain Clothes that spoke to me?
The sturdy boots, plaid skirts and puff-sleeve tops that seemed to
say, "I'm not completely ruling it out."
Cagney made me feel 'funny' inside. It wasn't a 'Haha', but more
of an 'Aha' moment. I didn't understand what the feelings meant,
but I felt things falling into place. I got a queer feeling
whenever Cagney came on screen; the same one I got when I saw
Belinda Carlisle make Circles in the Sand.
I felt I had to remain silent about this crush, after all it was
1988. My home town had only just got a Chinese restaurant. It
wasn't ready for this kind of revelation. So I kept it secret, in
my diary, with all the other important information about my life,
'I want some mega hold hairspray… I just bought The Christians new
LP… The spot on my face has now gone. Cagney & Lacey was
great!!! Sharon Gless is AMAZING!!!
Last week, some twenty odd years later, my grown up lesbian self
had another date with Sharon Gless. I had tickets to see my crush,
on stage, in the flesh. *Scream*.
My friends were incredulous that I was going out, on a Saturday
night, and missing Borgen. So I decided to fess up about my
feelings for Cagney. "Could you be more lesbian?" they joked,
"That's the oldest crush in the book. We had no idea you were such
So I'm not rubbish, I'm a lesbian cliché. Well I don't care,
because if loving Cagney is wrong then I don't want to be