From time to time people 'forget' that I'm a lesbian and make
jokes about lesbians in front of me. Funnily enough this memory
lapse on their part usually coincides with me remembering why I
never really liked them in the first place.
When I challenge people about these 'jokes' their stock response
is usually, "Oh, but we're not talking about you. You're not like
that." as if that makes it ok. People have no idea how insulting
they are being, far from it, they actually think they're paying me
a compliment. What am I supposed to say? "Thanks, you're quite
funny for a bigot".
I sometimes think it's a case of The Lesbians are All Right (as
long as you know them), or Better The Lesbian You Know.
A bloke I work with is in the middle of subjecting me to a
'hilarious impression' of a "dyke" who used to be his boss. He's
clearly forgotten that I'm a lesbian. This isn't going to end
His 'impression' consists of him repeating, "Hello. I'm a
lesbian", in a lower register than his voice. It's not going to win
him a slot at the Royal Variety. Frankly it's far too predictable
and there's not enough satire. It's just another lame example of a
white man impersonating lesbians; at least this one hasn't got his
own blog - at least I hope not.
I try clearing my throat to make him stop and consider what he's
saying. "Ahem". But the penny doesn't drop. "Are you okay?" he
says, "Do you need a water?" Water? No I don't need water. What I
need is for you to get your head out of your arse and realise that
you're being offensive.
"Bloody lesbians! They're so demanding", he continues oblivious.
He has NO idea. This woman doesn't sound like she was being
demanding. She was just doing her job well. If he thinks lesbians
are demanding he should try sleeping with one. Actually something
tells me he might have tried sleeping with one, and thus the 'sour
The time for subtle warnings is over. I'm going to have to spell
it out for him. "Er. Hello. Les-bi-an." I say gesticulating wildly
at myself. At this point, completely unabashed, he smiles and says,
"But you're not one of those lesbians."
I'm definitely the sleeping with other women kind. What other
kind is there?