Here at DIVA we've noticed a growing trend: 'lesbros', males who
are friends with gay women. Here we highlight 10 reasons for
today's lesbian to keep a boy around, and why sometimes a girl
best-friend just doesn't cut it…
1. To pretend you're straight.
Every girl, even the one that got 'queer and proud' tattooed on
her forehead, has endured an awkward situation where they wished,
for just one minute, they could appear straight. Your
readymade lesbro boyfriend holds your hand and parades said
straightness for everyone to see. Ever drop your gay card in
front of family? He's there to whisk it up before anyone notices,
of course.
2. To walk you home at night.
Two girls stumbling down the street in the twilight hours can be
dangerous- strolling back with your male lesbro bodyguard is a much
safer alternative. Also handy to intervene in any
hair-pulling/screaming/scratching tiffs with your ex.
3. To teach you the cocky banter girls
love.
And they really do love it. What girl wouldn't be on her
knees for the line 'get yer boobs out.'
4. Living a drama free life.
Girls thrive on drama and gossip. Boys have less of a need
for a constant 'situation' to be going on in their lives. He'll get
you to laugh off the trivial fluster over your ex's latest facebook
status. He'll be around to stop you posting those tortured Romeo
poems to said ex. Even if he needs to physically wrestle them from
your ink-stained hands.
5. You don't fancy them.
No awkward sexual tension clouds hovering threateningly over
your friendship bubble. No lightening bolts of chemistry waiting to
strike after a few cocktails. With a lesbro there is zero chance of
your relationship being ruined with the Trojan horse gift-labelled
'friends with benefits.'
6. They don't think you fancy them.
Straight girl mates always have a niggling paranoia that you
have the hots for them. Like you're a rampant rabbit of
sexuality that crushes on any female you encounter. But, as above,
the lack of sexual tension between you and your lesbro means you
can offer up a sensual massage without him squirming away at the
sleaze.
7. To play toy soldiers.
You've always been a tom-boy. Forget Barbie, you were desperate
for someone to share your action man with. Even now, 15 years
later, you're looking for someone to marvel at your Spiderman
web-slinging-bracelet. Enter lesbro, and his vast collection of
boys toys.
8. Go girl watching.
Observing women is an art. It ranges from subtle glances, to
meaningful looks, to unashamed open-mouthed stares, and is a whole
lot more fun if you do it with a pal.
9. Teamwork.
Three's a crowd, but not if you and your lesbro have spotted a
willing bisexual girl. The threesome formula is one of the
hardest to perfect, but if you've already got two-thirds of the
parties on the hunt then you're well on the way.
10. To read free lads mags.
They're your guilty pleasure. You secretly want to read
them. But you don't want to buy them. They're tacky,
and they objectify women. They stand for everything you're against.
You're not THAT sell-out lesbian. And plus, there are so many, how
could you ever afford them all? Well boys do. And they don't care.
And they leave them lying around…
