1. "Do you think your son will be gay, because you are a
lesbian?"
Gee, let me think. So, by your logic, because I am a lesbian I
would have to have been raised by two men? What are you trying to
say about my mother? Oh and straight folk? They make gay
babies too. But no, I don't think he will be gay because I
am. If he is, it's because he was born that way… like the
rest of us.
2. "Do your children ever see their dad?"
It's 2012! They have two, that's 2 as in 1+1=2, mums. They do
not have a dad, and no they don't "miss" out by having two
mums.
3. "Can I just ask, how did you actually get
pregnant?"
Well, there was a man, a cup, a train journey and a syringe… No
you cannot ask. Do I ask you how you conceived your little
brood?
4. "I just think it's wrong for two lesbians to have a
baby, it's just not natural."
Uhuh this old chestnut again. If I had a pound for every time I
heard this, I could put my kids through college no problem! I find
bigots wrong, but there you go! I am just glad you are not my kid's
parents. Mine will grow up open minded, yours, unfortunately
probably won't.
5. "Will your wife have the next one?"
Will your husband have yours? This falls under the "none of your
business" category. Besides, she has seen it from the other
end and said there is no freaking way she is going through
that.
6. "Whose baby is it? It's clearly not
yours!"
I think you will find it is our baby. My wife and I are both on
the birth certificate. We were both there at the conception,
does that answer your question?
7. "I completely understand why you look like that. It
must be so tiring looking after those two."
That's right. My children and I are far too busy weaving lentils
for me to bother with makeup. And I do fall into the lesbian
stereotype of walking boots and fleeces in winter… makeup is not on
my agenda. When I dress up it includes a shirt and tie.
8. "When I am older like you and have had babies, I
won't gain so much weight."
Thanks. Thanks a lot for that. You carry two nine pound babies
and squeeze them out of your fanjo, don't sleep for the next three
years and we will see how much fat free chocolate you find!
9. "How challenging for you [when your six year old
still can't ride a bike]. Is it a coordination issue?"
No, thanks. He is just like me and can't be bothered to cycle
when we have a car.
10. " When I finally have children they will be clean
every day."
This just makes me want to weep. You can't get past breakfast
without them looking like they have found the war paint. As a
parent, you just smile and nod at these comments.
